President George Bush has received a great deal of praise for his many letters thanking others that he gave out when he served as president. He wrote notes to people, world leaders and other important people. He was known and remembered for his polite manners. This is the lesson you can teach your child this holiday season.

You don’t begin with thank you notes. You begin with, “Thank you.” Very young children can be taught to thank people when they are nice to them. They should be learning very early that when the food comes at the restaurant, they can say, “Thank you.” When someone helps them with their coat, they can say, “Thank you.” Certainly they can say thank you when someone gives them a present.

They should learn this at home with the everyday things that happen. They should be thanking someone, especially their parents, on a regular basis. They can say, “Thank you” for dinner or for the snack they received. They should say, “Thank you” for the special time you spent together reading a favorite book.

“Thank you” is most likely to come up when they hear it from you. Once again, parents and grandparents are the models for the children. When children hear you saying it regularly, they are most likely to begin saying it.

Think about your manners. Do you regularly thank people for nice things they do for you. Many people don’t. That is why people are surprised to hear people say those important two words. You may even shock people who don’t hear these words on a regular basis.

Make sure you say, “Thank you” to your children. Thank her for coming as soon as you called or thank her for bringing her plate out to the kitchen or her dirty clothes to the laundry.

Do you thank the mail carrier? It is not a matter of giving him or her a tip but that can be nice too. Just saying thank you when you get your package or letter is the important thing. Not enough people thank the clerk that is helping them; it just takes getting in the habit and it really is a nice thing to do.

Thank the carpet cleaner, the gardener, the construction worker who installs your new window and anyone you should be grateful to for doing something for you. Let your little one hear you saying these words so that he learns to use them.

Even when he has stayed overnight at someone’s house, you should hear these words. They should come from you when you pick up your child but they should also come from your child.

When you are just in the early stages of teaching your child this level of politeness, he needs to hear that you recognize that he is saying these words. Tell him how pleased you are when he thanks Mrs. Jones for bringing back his book he forgot. Let him know you heard him say, “Thank you” when you picked him up from his friend’s house.

If you are grandma, let him know that people besides his parents are listening to the polite things he says.

We need to learn how to reach out in a positive way to the many people with whom we are connected. We need to become a more polite and more positive society and it begins in childhood. We learn to reach out to others by reaching out in our homes.

There are so many lessons in life that children need to learn. Virtually most of them are learned in childhood. Virtually most of them are taught by parents to the children they are raising.

Thank you for reading this — I really appreciate it.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. To reach current First Teacher Executive Director Nicole Brewer, email nicole@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.