By the end of the day, most parents are ready to relax and enjoy the brief time when the kids are in bed and they can talk with their partner, relax or read a book. It is a sad thing that also may be the most difficult part of the day. This is the time when young children, especially toddlers, may resist going to bed and going to sleep.

So what can you do to help your toddler get a good night’s rest?

The first thing to do is to set up a regular quiet time before bedtime. This will help your little one understand that it will soon be sleep time. This is the time to have him take a bath to relax before you read him a story or listen to quiet music. Even though this is a tempting time to play with your child before bed, remember that playing may make him too excited to sleep.

Have a regular night time routine. When you are consistent, your child learns what to expect at night and it helps him establish a healthy nighttime schedule. If he knows the routine is getting him ready for bed, he will be more ready to go. Don’t forget the essential hug that should be part of the routine.

Toddlers love to take certain toys such as a teddy bear or even a special blanket to bed. It is fine for him to take these kinds of things to bed at night. You probably don’t want to put something into the bed at night that he will play with for an extended time. That is why blankets and bears are good things to let him have. You want to make sure whatever he takes is safe. Look for parts such as ribbons, buttons or even stuffing that could cause him to choke. You obviously want him to be safe.

Make sure he is comfortable. He may have some preferences that make it easier for him to sleep. Maybe he wants a drink of water or a light left on. He even may prefer to have the door slightly open. Figure all of this out before you put him down the for the night.

It isn’t a good idea for him to sleep in the same bed with you. If you start this, it can make it more difficult for him to fall asleep when he is alone. If you take him in with you when he is sick or having problems, you then have to make up for it when things get back to normal and that is not easy.

Don’t be too responsive. If you go in to check things out every time he calls out or cries, he will do it more and more.

• Wait a few minutes before answering and then make your response time longer each time he calls. Perhaps this will give him a chance to fall asleep on his own.

• Reassure him that you are there. If you have to go into his room, do not stay too long. Do not even turn on the light and certainly don’t play with him or read to him more to try to get him to calm down.

• Keep staying farther from his bed each time you check him. Eventually you can just reassure him verbally and not enter his room.

• Tell him it is time to go to sleep each time he calls you. Do not talk about other subjects.

Be patient. Changing behavior takes time. Developing good sleep habits is worth the challenge the issue presents. Certainly this can be a challenge.

Try not to get too upset when your child keeps you awake at night. Try to be understanding that this is a phase he is going through. You don’t want to make things worse by being overly upset.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. To reach current First Teacher Executive Director Nicole Brewer, email nicole@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.