Parents know they are the ones who will be talking with their child about responsibility, smoking, kindness, hard work, bullying, being untruthful, drugs and swearing. It has never been clear to me why this list doesn’t include talking about sex.

Yes, this can be a difficult subject to talk about but it is really important that the right people talk with each child about this important topic. That means you, the parent.

As a parent, you watch closely the changes that occur as your “baby” matures. It is very exciting to see the progression your child makes every year. It is amazing how quickly some of the changes that signal sexual changes become a part of your child’s life. With this quickly changing time comes the need to talk.

This is a topic that parents frequently spend considerable time thinking about how they will handle this subject. Most parents do not just jump into discussing this topic. Most parents certainly do not want to encourage their young children to become sexually involved at an early age.

There is a great deal to consider before you begin talking about your child’s sexuality. One of the first things you want to take into consideration is what your child may already know. Ask if your child has learned about sex in any of her classes.

If the answer is yes, try to understand what has been learned or introduced.

Remember that listening is key in any discussion. Here what your child is saying because that is your goal.

Remember, the less you talk and the more you listen the more your child will listen to you and the more he will hear what you are saying when you do talk.

Think ahead of time about the books you might be able to share with her. You can also make a trip to the library and find a number of excellent resources. Make sure they are the correct level for your child. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from the librarian. You can also go to the internet and list the topic and see what they suggest.

Don’t try to cover the entire topic in one session. There is a lot to share. Take your time. Leave the book you picked out of the library. Let her digest some of the material on her own. Then you can follow-up in your next discussion.

While you are debating what you are going to tell your child about sex, here are a few things you might want to consider.

1. The first signs of puberty in girls, breast budding, begin on average at 10 years of age.

2. Children who are heavier enter puberty sooner.

3. Half of sexually active teen boys had their first sexual experience between 11 and 13 years old.

4. 13 percent of all U.S. births are to teenagers.

5. A sexually active teen that does not use contraceptives has a 90 percent chance of becoming pregnant within one year.

6. Every year about 25 percent of sexually active teens acquire a sexually transmitted disease.

7. Teens are more likely to have sex if they have poor self-esteem, poor academic achievement, poor parent-child relationships, and poor peer relationships.

8. Every third joke on TV sitcoms contains a sexual comment (Sonna, L., “The Everything Tween Book,” Adams, Massachusetts, 2003).

You can see that there are some very strong reasons to have discussions on this topic. It’s up to you to determine if you want to make sure your child has the information she needs about sex. If it’s not you, remember, someone else will.

Actually, each of the discussions you have with your child add to the bond you have together. They can be tough discussions but they are essential and necessary.

This is a very important relationship you have with your child. Do everything you can to make it the best.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. To reach current First Teacher Executive Director Nicole Brewer, email nicole@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.