Ruth Marcus

So many goodbyes in a lifetime. Some come suddenly, out of the blue. Others, we knew were coming, yet were surprised when they actually arrived. 

Perhaps I should have known seven years ago that we would someday end our relationship, yet as I sit writing these words, I couldn’t have imagined that I’d be the one to initiate the ending.

 

I’ve decided to leave you, dear readers. It’s not been an easy decision. My heart feels like a special kind of love affair is coming to an end.  

 

I’ve thought long and hard about this for months and it’s taken me this long to humble myself and admit that I feel like I have nothing more to say.

 

Seven years ago this month, I submitted an article to the Gazette, offering it unconditionally — no commitment, no financial ties. It was an article about getting through the holidays when you’re grieving.

 

To my surprise, the Gazette offered me a commitment and I eagerly agreed. Truth be told, I didn’t consider myself a writer, yet the opportunity knocked and I saw it as a wonderfully creative opportunity to become a writer. That process is as challenging as becoming a more thoughtful human being — there’s always room for change and growth.

 

 I’ve encouraged you readers to follow your hearts and listen to the quiet voice within; I’m now taking my own advice.

 

That’s why this is my last Good Grief column. I need to listen to my heart — that quiet voice within. It’s saying, “Turn inward and do some creative fiction writing.”

 

Just like ending any relationship, this feels like a scary leap of faith. I can’t look back and I don’t have a clue what’s to come. I just know that I need to let go.

 

There are a gazillion writers who would jump at the chance to be a columnist. I did. It’s something many writers long for. Even in a small town, it’s an honor to be published, to be offered your own column. To be given space and a chance to build a readership is a big deal. When you find a readership that says, “I like what you have to say,” it’s magic.

 

And that’s where I tear up. That’s where my heart gets real soft. So many of you have consistently read my columns and have expressed your appreciation. Telling you that I don’t have anything more to say is not easy. Perhaps it’s simply another way of saying it’s time to move on.

 

The Gazette editor says I can return anytime — even write a column now and then. I’m grateful that the door remains open. I’ve never taken our relationship for granted and I appreciate the freedom to write and express myself.

 

I am grateful for this amazing experience and for all we’ve shared. And, like any good relationship that ends amicably, I trust that you and I will meet again and the appreciation and respect we have for each other will continue.

 

Thanks for being a reader of Good Grief. For seven years, we’ve picked each other up and set each other down. We’ve looked at our life issues. We’ve folded and recycled the paper, even carried our share out to the curb. It’s been a great relationship. Thank you, dear readers. So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye.

 

P.S.  My final words are not goodbye but these: Always become the change you wish to see in

the world.

 

Ruth Marcus, MA, PhD, is a published author and columnist. Her column has appeared once a month for the past seven years. She is available for comments at Rmarcus@olypen.com.