Cheerfully revolting zombie tale

The Bookmonger

Barbara Lloyd McMichael

"The Zombie-Wilson Diaries" - Timothy W. Long

Library of the Living Dead - 230 pages - $12.99

Up until now I have never, in my long career as a book reviewer, had the opportunity to delve into that literary sub-genre known as zombie fiction.

But recently Bonney Lake author Timothy W. Long sent along his new book "The Zombie-Wilson Diaries." Not only has this given me a chance to address my deficient coverage of the genre, it also has provided a book appropriate for a Halloween review.

Zombies, for those of you who don't pay much attention, are rotting, witless corpses that shamble along looking for any chance to chow down on human flesh.

This makes them unappealing company for most folks. But for one hapless accountant, it's different. He is the lone survivor of a plane crash over the Pacific and when he washes up on a deserted tropical island he discovers that his only companion is a corpse from the same crash - and she has turned into a zombie.

Our narrator takes to keeping a diary and we are privy to his innermost thoughts.

In life, the zombie was a "hot chick" in our narrator's estimation. In death, her flesh is gray and putrid, she's lost one eyeball as well as any sense of humor and she has the unnerving habit of constantly going for his jugular.

The narrator contemplates dispatching her but he fears he might go loco from loneliness. So he figures out a way to gag and leash the rancid gal and she becomes his zombie girlfriend, of sorts. At least she's a more dynamic companion than Wilson, the volleyball Tom Hanks hung out with in the movie "Cast Away."

Our narrator has a lot of time on his hands and never enough food to eat. Double entendres, however, are in plentiful supply.

One chapter, called "My Girl Friend Has Crabs," details the happy day when he discovers that a couple of crustaceans have taken up residence in his zombie chick's hair - that's good protein, if only our narrator can get at them before she gets at him. Other chapters such as "My Girl Friend Moans A Lot" and "My Girl Friend Likes To Be Tied Up" have much more to do with her living-dead predicament than with any sexual escapade.

Long, a prolific horror author, writes with graphic glee - repulsive details and waaaay off-color jokes abound. If this were a movie, it would be rated R for revolting - but it's revolting in a cheerful kind of way.

There's profanity, blood, guts, gore and really warped depravity. Of course, any middle-schooler probably has heard a lot worse.

This book started out as a blog and now "Zombie-Wilson Diaries - Book Two" is in the works at www.zombie-wilson.com. Surf on over to get a taste of what you're in for if you buy the first "Zombie-Wilson Diaries," which now is out in paperback. And, for those who want a really cheap thrill, it's available on Kindle, too.

Happy trick-or-treating!

The Bookmonger is Barbara Lloyd McMichael, who writes this column focusing on the books, authors and publishers of the Pacific Northwest. Contact her at bkmonger@nwlink.com.