If you use social media or trend-speak, you are probably familiar with the concept of “ghosting.” It’s when someone cuts off communication with you without so much as a “by your leave” or “kiss my *ss.”
It’s easy to do with tweets or texts or posts: you just quit answering your lover or friend.
Ghosting. As in, “I thought you were there for me, but you aren’t.”
It happened to me. I had a friend for well over a decade, but she is gone now. We had a disagreement (yes, politics raised its ugly head), and it is as though she went up in smoke. No calls, no visits, no nothing except one package mailed with a sweater of mine inside. No note enclosed.
And here I was believing friendship is meant to provide two-way support. How quaint is that? Bottom line, the experience made me question myself and my choices which, of course, undermined my self-esteem. Surely, I am worth more than this? Apparently, I am not.
Ghosting can be done with an actual blood-and-bone friend, but it is much easier if social media is the bigger part of the relationship. Want someone gone? Don’t bother saying good-bye to the ex-lover or friend. Just be gone. Make them figure out they are now exes.
Unfortunately, that kind of digital behavior affects our face-to-face behavior. We run from confrontation vs woman up to it. We make the hurt of rejection hurt even more when we give no reasons.
Is my former friend alive? Who does she confide in now? Has she discovered this new way to poach an egg that I am sure she would love? Does she know how good “The Green Book” is? Has her daughter at long last fledged? Has she found another rummage sale partner? Who worried through her cataract surgery for her? Was it a success? Did the Mister walk out her door as he threatened? I will never know.
I hate stories with no endings. I suppose that is why I write fiction vs non.
Linda B. Myers is a founding member of Olympic Peninsula Authors and author of the PI Bear Jacobs mystery series. Her newest novel, “The Slightly Altered History of Cascadia: A Fantasy for Grown Ups,” is now available at amazon.com. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org or Facebook.com/lindabmyers.author.