From the Back Nine: Yes, I am afraid of ghosts

  • Wednesday, February 6, 2019 1:30am
  • Opinion

If you use social media or trend-speak, you are probably familiar with the concept of “ghosting.” It’s when someone cuts off communication with you without so much as a “by your leave” or “kiss my *ss.”

It’s easy to do with tweets or texts or posts: you just quit answering your lover or friend.

Ghosting. As in, “I thought you were there for me, but you aren’t.”

It happened to me. I had a friend for well over a decade, but she is gone now. We had a disagreement (yes, politics raised its ugly head), and it is as though she went up in smoke. No calls, no visits, no nothing except one package mailed with a sweater of mine inside. No note enclosed.

And here I was believing friendship is meant to provide two-way support. How quaint is that? Bottom line, the experience made me question myself and my choices which, of course, undermined my self-esteem. Surely, I am worth more than this? Apparently, I am not.

Ghosting can be done with an actual blood-and-bone friend, but it is much easier if social media is the bigger part of the relationship. Want someone gone? Don’t bother saying good-bye to the ex-lover or friend. Just be gone. Make them figure out they are now exes.

Unfortunately, that kind of digital behavior affects our face-to-face behavior. We run from confrontation vs woman up to it. We make the hurt of rejection hurt even more when we give no reasons.

Is my former friend alive? Who does she confide in now? Has she discovered this new way to poach an egg that I am sure she would love? Does she know how good “The Green Book” is? Has her daughter at long last fledged? Has she found another rummage sale partner? Who worried through her cataract surgery for her? Was it a success? Did the Mister walk out her door as he threatened? I will never know.

I hate stories with no endings. I suppose that is why I write fiction vs non.

Linda B. Myers is a founding member of Olympic Peninsula Authors and author of the PI Bear Jacobs mystery series. Her newest novel, “The Slightly Altered History of Cascadia: A Fantasy for Grown Ups,” is now available at Contact her at or

More in Opinion

Think About It: The sound of silence

At first, I thought the greyness I felt was January, the dead… Continue reading

Guest opinion: Student debt draining retired income

Lots is written about students exiting college saddled with hefty student loans;… Continue reading

Guest column: Controversial 2018 election mailers were audacious — and legal

Misleading postcards didn’t violate election laws because they touted non-candidates, the PDC found.

Being Frank: Proposed state budget underfunds culvert replacement

Treaty tribes in western Washington are concerned that Gov. Jay Inslee’s two-year… Continue reading

On civility and power: Part III

In exploring the relationship between civility and power, this series has sought… Continue reading

Water Matters: Circles and cycles, part II

Last month the topic of this column wasn’t water, but recycling. I… Continue reading

From the Back Nine: Yes, I am afraid of ghosts

If you use social media or trend-speak, you are probably familiar with… Continue reading

New law on police use of deadly force was three years in the making

Legislators about to pass a bill that will permit officers to kill only in ‘good faith’

House passes law enforcement, legislative conduct measures in first floor votes of session

By Franz Wiechers-Gregory Washington Votes State lawmakers took their first recorded votes… Continue reading

Clallam Democrats kick off 2019 membership drive

On Jan. 16, Clallam County Democrats kicked off their 2019 membership drive… Continue reading

Think About It: Lucy has the football

Most of us remember the comic “Peanuts” created by Charles M. Schultz… Continue reading

How our lawmakers voted

State lawmakers took their first recorded votes of this year’s session in… Continue reading