Remember Saturday mornings with Rocky & Bullwinkle? Remember Rocky's famous line, "Now here's something you'll really like!"?
The other day I found myself yet again at a local eaterie; this time scarfing up free hors d'oeuvres.
In no particular order, I gleefully helped myself to crab cakes, mozzarella and spinach ravioli, English muffin with jam, yogurt, trail mix, hot soup, pot stickers, orange chicken, Canadian bacon, and BBQ pork. All free for the asking. I felt like a kid in a candy shop. I finally lost track of all the freebies of which I partook.
Yet, still I had room for lunch. (Not at all surprising to those who have shared a meal with me.) So, I ordered a nice juicy hot dog (or possibly it was two) and loaded up with an ocean of mustard and a mountain of onions. Got a nice big soda too, and all the refills I wanted. All for only $1.50!
Have you figured out where I'm dining?
It's Costco! Best meal deal in town.
Costco also sells things. BIG things. Like groceries and furniture and clothing and toys and plants. The store has gotta be the size of a football field. Marketing there is a challenge for small families because the serving sizes are gi-mongous and also, the little ones (and their parents) are inclined to need nourishment to complete the shopping journey. So, Costco is pretty smart. They figure you'll need all your strength to make it from one end of the building to the other, so why not feed ya - and allow you to make the most of your shopping opportunities.
But whatever profits they make for the day when I'm dining, I'm sure they end up losing money on me - I'm not shy about going back for seconds on hors d'oeuvres. Nonetheless, they've been gracious and so far no one has stopped me from coming in the door.
Done, for now, with hors d'oeuvres (one could always go back if the mood strikes), and after I placed my order with the friendly waitstaff at the food counter and customized it with my traditional menu of condiments, I took a seat.
Protecting me from the sun of fluorescent industrial lighting, I dined under patriotic red white and blue parasols courtesy of Sinai Kosher Beef Hot Dogs. If I closed my eyes, why I almost felt as if I were sitting outside a European cafe.
Mention Costco and food to long time members and most will say, "Costco has the best hot dogs!" Theirs are extra long, a quarter pound, and you have your choice of the Sinai Kosher all beef hot dog or a Polish sausage, along with a 20 ounce bottomless beverage. For $1.50, where else can you get a deal like this? For toppings you can choose from yellow and deli mustard, ketchup, relish, sauerkraut (for the asking) and onions. I practically empty that chrome bin that churns out onions because I can't possibly squish down enough of 'em on top of my dog.
On tap is actual Coca Cola and Diet Coca Cola (for those with discerning taste whose palettes eschew Pepsi), Barq's root beer, Sprite, and Minutemaid light lemonade. Sorry, the only alcoholic beverage is the kind you take home.
You can call in your order (406.2038) for their 18" hot pizza ($9.95) - or wait right there. Or buy by the slice for only $1.99! I tried their Signature cheese which had me humming in satisfaction, but they also offer the old standby pepperoni and/or sausage, veggie (pepper, onion, olive, mushroom); or a combo heaped with all the toppings.
Costco offers a nice big chicken Caesar salad for $3.79 and it comes with croutons, those cute little grape tomatoes, and of course, parmesean cheese. Since their Caesar salad is one of the healthier things on their menu, I wanted to love it. But I didn't. It wasn't the dressing, that was pretty good. And the sweet grape tomatoes were fresh and the chicken moist. But, the lettuce tasted "earthy." I don't know if you know what I mean by that, but I ran into some friends while dining and the wife agreed with me. Now, that could be just that day. And I've even experienced that earthy taste to lettuce in a homemade salad (my secret is out - I can actually make a salad - as well as reservations). So don't let my one-time experience stop you from trying it. And at $3.79, really, what have you got to lose - except a bunch of calories and cholesterol - available in heeps with their hot dogs and pizza.
For $2.69 you can chow down on their definitely-not-diet-conscious breaded chicken bake; a breast of chicken with cheese, bacon, and Caesar dressing.
After you've filled up on all that, it's time for dessert.
Costco has their version of a Dove bar using their super premium ice cream and hand-dipped in a layer of chocolate ($1.50). If you like it crunchy, you can have yours rolled in roasted almonds.
For lower calories and two bits less, try their Kirkland Signature non fat yogurt in chocolate or vanilla. Can't make up your mind? Have them make you a chocolate and vanilla swirl.
Rather have something cold and fruity? Try the very berry sundae with strawberries for $1.55.
Or how about a twisted churro - basically a linear donut - showered in cinnamon and sugar. For a buck.
In the summer, a latte/mocha freeze sounds good, or a berry smoothie ($1.35).
If it's cold outside, order a double tall hot mocha for a dollar. Take that Starbucks!
The bathrooms are clean...and big. The atmosphere...flourescent.
Dining at Costco. Think of it a little like your olde timey neighborhood five & dime with the counter - only without the the counter and no fries or root beer floats (although a friend pointed out the possibility of concocting your own with vanilla yogurt).
Where friends meet with friends to break bread, pizza and churros - while babysitting their shopping cart bulging with oversized buys.