Jack Thornton

I believe today's column will demonstrate how truly shallow and ridiculous I can be.

In veterinary medicine, as in other professions, periodically we are required to upgrade our licensing by accumulating so many hours of continuing education. I recently attended a seminar in Las Vegas offering a smorgasbord of veterinary topics.

Over the years, I have benefited greatly from these but I must admit that the academic trivia can at times challenge my ability to stay awake. However, even the more esoteric considerations at least inform me about where the cutting edge of our profession is headed.

Probably more practical information is picked up through casual contact with colleagues at these conferences than from the lectures.

Because I'm out of the trenches so to speak (being semi-retired), I decided this year to venture into some fringe areas to which I normally pay little attention.

Perhaps my attention span is waning with age because at various moments in some of these classes, I became bored enough that my mind began to seek out diversions like a dachshund trying to ferret out a badger.



The following poetic insights were inspired by these respective course topics:



Canine Behavior

I took my dog to the park

So with others he could bark;

Instead of a growl

He let out a howl

In pursuit of sparrow and lark.



Avian Pathology

There once was a parrot who swore

Foul words came straight from his core;

So filthy was he

By the time he was 3

His beak rotted off on the floor.



Exotic Animal

Management

At home I've a dog and a cat

Not to mention my frog and rat;

My rat ate the frog,

My dog ate the rat,

Rat terriers sometimes do that.



Dermatology

Some pets have a powerful itch;

Medications we generally pitch;

The cost of the pills

Creates client ills

In the form of a very loud bitch.



General Overview

I went to a vet seminar

To savor both classroom and bar

Over multiple beers

With professional peers

I learned how to be above par.



Believe it or not, I did glean some good information from these courses. But what good is straight information without a little silliness?



Jack Thornton is a semi-retired veterinarian in eastern Clallam County.