Dementia Caregiving 101: The importance of self-care for caregivers

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Dear Readers, I launched the column “Dementia Caregiving 101” to be a lifeline for caregivers supporting loved ones facing the challenges of dementia. This column is dedicated to providing not only information but also heartfelt support and valuable resources for those who may struggle to attend caregiver groups or access outside services. Together, we can navigate this journey with compassion and understanding.

Please note: Tim’s Place, a dementia socialization program, is temporarily closed. However, the good news is that The Friend’s Place, located at Dungeness Community Church, 45 Eberle Lane in Sequim, is offering a socialization program three days a week. For more information, visit thefriendsplace-sequim.com.

This month, I want to discuss the importance of self-care for caregivers. As I’ve shared with friends, this isn’t my first experience with caregiving. I started by assisting my brother when his wife was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. This was followed by caregiving for my mother and then my father – all of whom have passed, and now I am supporting and caring for my husband, who is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Caregiving is challenging and demands love, compassion, dedication, and resilience. It’s not for the faint of heart.

Many people believe that caregiving can be done without any support, but I can tell you that it simply isn’t true. When starting the caregiving journey, caregivers need to explore all available support services. Maintaining your health and well-being is of the utmost importance.

Let’s talk about support systems:

Therapy

A therapist is one of the best decisions a caregiver can make. It offers a safe space to express feelings without judgment. Therapy provides comfort, acts as a problem-solving arena, and helps caregivers determine where to focus their energy. Caring for someone with dementia can challenge our mental health, so a therapist can help maintain our mental well-being.

The recommendation I shared requires some context about why I, as a caregiver, see a therapist. Recently, I was with my daughter and my best friend when I expressed some frustration about my husband’s behavior. My daughter responded by saying, “You need to pick your battles.”

At that point, my best friend, who cared for her mother-in-law, her mother, and her husband — all of whom have passed away — chimed in, saying, “This isn’t about fixing the problem; your mom just needed to vent.” This experience highlights why I choose to see a therapist.

There are several wonderful avenues to explore as you seek a therapist who can provide the support you need in your caregiving journey. One of the most effective methods is to ask friends for recommendations, especially for someone who specializes in caregiving support.

Additionally, you can explore the wealth of resources available online, but I highly recommend reaching out to local organizations, such as the Olympic Area on Aging, to inquire about their exceptional Family Caregivers Program.

Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not just important, it’s essential. By taking care of yourself, you will be better equipped to handle the challenges of caregiving, ensuring that both your mental and physical health remain strong. Embrace this journey with care for yourself, and you’ll be able to provide the best support to those who rely on you.

Relatives

To be frank, the diagnosis of dementia can lead to family members taking a long-term hiatus. Those whom you thought might have been a support may become silent or slip quietly out of sight. It is important at the onset of diagnosis to gather your family and discuss how they can support you. This includes siblings, adult children, and anyone else you consider family, even if they are not related by blood.

This will enable you to determine how to address appointments for both your loved one and yourself. It will allow you to plan the necessary time away as well as incorporate your loved one into other family activities.

Circle of friends

This includes family. Your loved one needs to keep in touch with friends and family they see regularly.

I have noticed that individuals diagnosed with dementia often hesitate to share their diagnosis. This reluctance often stems from a fear of being judged, and they start to isolate. However, when they share their diagnosis, they typically receive better support on many levels. This support adds to their happiness and stimulates their brain. It also supports your need to have time away from caregiving.

When my husband was diagnosed, he didn’t want to tell anyone. I took a different approach and explained to him that if his friends truly care, they will support him. We decided to put this idea to the test at his monthly poker game. He shared his diagnosis four years ago, and since then, these same friends have been there to assist him at each game, enabling him to play. He doesn’t win much but he has fun and once a month, I can go out to dinner with friends, and this helps maintain my well-being.

Reach out to your loved ones’ friends. I have learned through experience that you don’t know until you ask and share your needs. Caregiving demands much from the caregiver, and if you are not willing to ask, in the end, you jeopardize your health.

As I mentioned, caregiving requires strength and resilience. If you have this responsibility without seeking the necessary support — such as therapy and assistance from external resources — you are setting yourself up for an overwhelming experience. It’s crucial to prioritize your well-being and seek help when needed because dementia caregiving can go on for years.