Dear Readers, I launched the column “Dementia Caregiving 101” to be a lifeline for caregivers supporting loved ones facing the challenges of dementia. This column is dedicated to providing not only information but also heartfelt support and valuable resources for those who may struggle to attend caregiver groups or access outside services. Together, we can navigate this journey with compassion and understanding.

This month, I would like to discuss behaviors commonly associated with dementia. As your loved one progresses through the stages of dementia, you may encounter behaviors that will surprise and unsettle you. These behaviors are likely to be unfamiliar and may not align with your loved one’s usual personality.

In my experience, dealing with these out-of-character behaviors has often made me stop and reflect. Sometimes, these behaviors can be hurtful to you as a caregiver, and you might find yourself saying things to your loved one that you would never normally say. I am guilty of the foregoing!

To minimize the chances of regret in your caregiving journey, I wholeheartedly recommend connecting with two remarkable individuals available online. Teepa Snow, a renowned Dementia Care Education Specialist, and Dr. Natalie Edmonds, a board-certified geropsychologist and the leader of Dementia Careblazers, are both exceptional resources. They offer a treasure trove of insights through their engaging YouTube videos, packed with innovative strategies, valuable tips, and practical techniques for effectively addressing challenging behaviors. I encourage you to explore their work — you won’t be disappointed.

I seriously want you to consider the foregoing information. As caregivers, we often start with the belief that we can handle everything on our own. However, it’s important not to adopt that mindset. Seeking support and learning new strategies is not a sign of failure; quite the opposite. It demonstrates strength, resilience, and a commitment to gaining knowledge.

I have often shared with others that caring for my loved one with dementia is not my first foray into the world of caregiving. Throughout my journey, I have taken on this role multiple times, each experience enriching my understanding and deepening my compassion.

While I consider myself seasoned in this important work, I recognize the necessity of remaining receptive to new insights. Dementia is a landscape marked by constant change, and navigating requires a commitment to continuous adaptation and learning.

I have learned that individuals battling dementia often draw on their long-term memories. Sometimes, they may act out or express thoughts from those experiences, which can be humorous, but on other occasions may come across as hateful or frightening.

You can’t stop what is happening, but if the incident comes from a place of anger or a bad experience, it is best to pause before responding. Using those few seconds before you respond can often provide a better outcome.

Avoid arguing and pay attention to their non-verbal behaviors. Validate their feelings and then try to redirect them by using a calming voice. Sometimes, it requires you to enter their world. While that may seem strange or unusual, acknowledging what has happened can often diffuse or diminish the behavior.

By embracing the steps outlined above and drawing on the invaluable insights of experts like Dr. Natalie Edmonds and Teepa Snow, you can alleviate heartache, stress, and anxiety, ultimately changing yourself into a more compassionate caregiver. Moreover, if the behavior of your loved one leads to overwhelming stress and makes you question your abilities, grant yourself the grace to start anew. Remember, each day is an opportunity for learning and growth.