Family imbalance

Three persons I know, all older than I, all women, have been estranged from their own child or children for years. This is also almost invariably the work of one parent towards the other.

A newer friend related to me how her brother was estranged from his two sons. He was divorced by his wife. In the divorce she got their home and custody of the two teenage boys, then estranged them from their dad.

Though the woman earned three times her ex-husband’s income he was forced by the state to pay her a huge monthly amount for the two kids. Then he died, and his school age children — his own sons — didn’t even attend their fathers funeral.

For me, this is profoundly sad. As every child is by definition the exact 50-50 composite of their two biological parents, and should be supported in every way to love from their own natural parents.

As a dad in this state, I’ve seen the disregard and brutality this state has for fathers, which gives many mothers free will to alienate, even estrange, kids from their dads.

The first instances at least have some hope for eventual healing. Estrangement prolonged, though, that has only itself as the goal creates lifetimes of harm and hurt.

The extreme imbalance of power between two parents in this state through the courts, lends itself to abuse with kids and their fathers wrongly being victims.

Tom LaRue

Sequim