Letters to the editor — June 13, 2018

A vote for Neupert

Dave Neupert needs your vote in the August primaries. His qualifications are listed below. But the reason I’m voting for him is that I know him. He is a friend. I have watched him for many years in meetings. He has never once lost his temper as many others have done. He is sincere, honest and above reproach. I admire a man that takes meals to the sick and shut ins. He works quietly and he is a man of integrity. He will be an excellent judge. That’s why you should vote for him too.

Dave Neupert has practiced criminal and civil law in Clallam County, including tribal courts, for more than 25 years.

He has extensive experience as Judge Pro Tem and Commissioner in District Court 1.

He will move the District Court forward by holding offenders accountable while making the best use of our mental health and drug courts.

He will listen and show respect to everyone who appears in court.

He knows the value of requiring convicted persons to perform community service work.

Through his work with Peninsula Housing Authority and Habitat for Humanity, Neupert understands the need for more affordable housing.

Through his experience in the court and with Peninsula Behavioral Health, Neupert understands the need for effective substance abuse and mental health treatment for our residents.

He will use his judicial experience and community leadership skills to improve the District Court and make it more responsive.

Neupert knows that domestic violence harms our families and communities. He will make sure victims can be heard in court, while safeguarding the constitutional rights of the accused.

Dave Neupert loves the law. His experience and passion for justice are what we need in our next District Court Judge.

Tom Everett

Sequim

Conections can ease the pain

About (celebrity chef/author Anthony) Bourdain and suicide: Even if it was drugs, there are always catalysts that made you start taking them — I know, of all people, losing my hearing took me down a dark hole of abuse for quite a few years. I barely climbed out of that hole.

When you are sad, it is the one place you can easily hide away. During that period of time, four close members of my family passed away and this unexpected loss only added to my grief.

Drugs, any drugs, alcohol, even food, numb the pain and when you are so beyond sad, that is all you seek, that temporary escape from a living hell of a reality that you do not want to admit is yours. You feel like if you admit it, that you are weak, a loser, exposed, and worthless to everyone.

There were too many nights I deleted things on my phone, iPad, and got rid of piles of NyQuil bottles, pill bottles, ripped the labels all off, because I did not think I would wake up in the morning. Seriously. There are years that are pretty fuzzy to me and I cared not if I lived or died.

Sometimes people just don’t know how to help, and regardless of that, a person can’t be helped unless they want that help. It is sad, but true. There is no deep thinking or plotting going on by those affected, we are just in turmoil and have forgotten what it is to have a state of stability, of homeostasis.

Those of us who do this, we don’t do it for sympathy, we don’t do it looking for a handout, we do it because we have no idea what to do. There is no rule book on how to handle personal sadness, losses, feelings of not being or looking good enough, emptiness and worthlessness, and grievances. You can call it a disease, you can call it abuse, all I ever called it was losing Sharyn.

Sometimes the pain I was in was so acute I would just stand against the wall, put my head against a window and wish I could just vanish through the pane, just die. I never had the courage to actually try to die, thank God, but I wished for it so many times. I was full of shame and hate and spewed it at so many people that thankfully have forgiven me.

Talking about it is the only help. This is my truth and it has made me stronger than I have ever been. It is as the Buddhists say, suffering is the one true way to finding actual wisdom and peace. You cannot know what people carry, you cannot know the sadness people have survived, you cannot judge what people do to cope with trauma, you have to yield and only give them your heart. Lastly, you can never know the darkness a person can carry inside their heart, that, kept secret, can destroy them.

I should add, I don’t have any regrets about the path I took. Like in Dante’s Inferno, Canto One, I, like Virgil, found myself in midlife within the forest dark, for I had lost the true path. But Virgil also did not regret his dark journey, instead he found goodness and returned to share his story with others.

There is something to be learned in love and in loss. As Gandhi once said, whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important you do it.

Sharyn Thoma Guay

Sequim

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