It isn’t easy being a grandparent who is raising a grandchild. For those in that role, an important task is to take good care of yourself.
You can love your grandchild and know what you are doing is important, but there are times when the difficulties caused by taking on a disciplinary role — instead of a more relaxed grandparenting role — can create stress for you.
Too much stress can make you feel guilty, lonely, angry or resentful. It can make you feel burned out or even physically ill, and make it far more difficult to give your best in caring for your grandchild.
No matter how stressful, don’t give up.
Here are some ideas that might help you deal with the everyday stresses of being a parent again with your grandchildren:
Do not feel guilty
Every grandparent in this role has felt angry, scared and maybe not even up to the job. Keep trying.
Take care of your health
Be sure to take the time to go to your doctor appointments, eat healthy, and get the exercise you need. If it would help, take your grandchild with you when you exercise, because your grandchild needs it, too. When you do these things together, you may be able to turn it into a fun activity for both of you.
Take a break
Schedule time for yourself to get some rest or have some kind of adult activity and recharge. Don’t hesitate to hire a babysitter, trade time with a friend or relative or check about local resources that can give you a break.
Ask for help
Join a support group. Make connections with local church groups who may offer helpful services for families under stress. Check with local support groups that may offer help to you or group such as senior groups.
Be sure to have some fun
Don’t forget to enjoy your time with your grandchild. Be sure to read books together or at least read at the same time. See if there are ways a grandchild can help in the kitchen. Give some thought to old hobbies your have that could include a little one. Ask what things your grandchild might suggest.
Having a really young child has very different possibilities than if your grandchild is older. Read about each age so you’re ready to think of ways to make this a positive experience for you both. Be sure to talk with your grandchild to learn of things of interest to him.
Your role as a parenting person is far different than that of just being a grandmother.
Parenting wasn’t an easy job when you were; it isn’t any easier now, and it is certainly different, but it is still a very important job.
You should be proud of yourself as you seek to do as good a job as you can. Good luck.
Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.
