When should you teach your child about politeness, consideration or even kindness?

The amazing thing about these extra nice kinds of behavior is that the time to begin teaching your child about them is in the preschool years. Teaching begins with the birth of your child and goes on far longer than you might think.

So how do you teach a young child about being kind? You demonstrate it on a regular basis. When someone is sick or falls on difficult times, adults send flowers, bake something or collect funds to help them. Children learn to be helpful by watching the adults in their lives do these simple things to help others.

Involve your child when you can. When you have a gift ready to deliver, take your child along so he feels how good it is to brighten someone’s day. Don’t wait for a food drive to bring some canned goods to the food bank.

Take some today with your child; have her give one of the cans to the people who are working there. Talk with your children about what is happening. Help them remember when someone did something nice for them and how they felt about it.

Talk with your children about sharing with others. Maybe they can give some flowers from your garden to Grandma or the lady down the street. Does your child have extra toys or books that maybe he would take to the local shelter for homeless people?

Teach your children about being considerate. Talk with them about cleaning up some of the things they mess up when they go to a friend’s house to play.

Even if they can’t pick up all the mess they are leaving, have them pick up at least a few of the Legos or at least put the special doll back where she belongs before they leave. At a minimum, remind them to clean up when they go to their grandparents or ask to take the dishes to the counter or put out the napkins.

These are all tasks very young children can do and should be encouraged to do.

With all of the other traits, don’t forget about being polite. Your role as a parent and as a model needs to show ways to be polite. When she leaves her friend’s house, make sure she thanks the mother for having her. Please and thank you always are words to use regularly.

But most of what we have been talking about has been with people close to us. What about others? We all need to reach out to them, too.

When the mail carrier delivers a letter to you, be sure to thank her. If the UPS driver has a package, walk out to the truck to get it and then follow up with a thank you.

When you are with your child at the grocery store and you have a big load in your cart, let the person with just a couple of items go before you. Let your child see this kindness to a stranger.

Even strangers appreciate a “Good Morning” or the delivery person appreciates a thank you. Remind your child to welcome the new boy to his preschool class by asking him to play.

We worry today about how people are so isolated from each other because of technology and other issues. We are concerned when people don’t seem to care about others.

We think about children and adults who have become bullies in ways we have not seen in times past. If we are to counter that, it begins with teaching children to be kind, considerate and polite.

There is no lesson to do this. This is everyday behavior that a child learns from day one. These are the lessons parents are in charge of teaching.

This also is what Thanksgiving is all about. The only problem is that Thanksgiving only comes on one day a year. You need to be teaching the lessons about being polite, kind and considerate every day of the year.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation. Reach her at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.