It is different raising kids today than it was in the past. Our children hear about subjects we never thought we would discuss with our children. These topics are ones our children hear about every day, whether we approve or disapprove.

We used to debate when a child was old enough to discuss sex topics. We would talk about when was the ideal time at home and at school for sex education. Then we would debate what should be said and what would be appropriate before we decided to move ahead. After these discussions, we would evaluate how we had done and what we should have done differently. This was a big deal.

Today, things are different. Long before a child is the age we felt was appropriate for sex education, a child now hears about sex, homosexuality, lesbians, abortion and LGBTQ. Discussion of drug use, vaccinations, vaping, Oxycodone and alcohol consumption are all around children. Today’s parent needs to be prepared to talk about subjects that yesterday’s parent would never have considered.

The question is: As a parent today, are you prepared? The answer, probably, is no.

So how does a parent prepare? Fortunately, we have some of the same resources our children have.

Talking tools

The primary resource available to our children at any age is the internet. All you or your child have to do is type in the word you are interested in knowing more about. This is easier than going to the encyclopedia or the dictionary and the description on the internet is far more extensive and is frequently illustrated.

There are helpful resources on the internet and some that are obviously inferior. You need to learn to tell the difference.

If you just receive an introduction via the internet, then follow it up with a movie that puts the word into a more complete context. It isn’t hard to find a movie that discusses these concepts because most movies show some of these activities. In fact, it is difficult to find movies that don’t discuss these kinds of topics or at least show them.

Even the daily newspaper is likely to have some information on these subjects on page 1 or 2. The content may or may not help you understand the topic, but it illustrates how you can’t avoid the topics. They are everywhere for you but also for your child.

The conversations that these resources cause you to have with your child are critical. You can’t afford to wait for a more appropriate age to talk about them.

So what should a parent do? How can you be ready? What do you need to know?

The first thing you need to do is to be aware that these conversations will be coming and be coming earlier than you would like. This is why you need to do your homework. Find out about the topics. Watch the movies that your children are watching. Pay attention to the rating of the movies and talk with your child why you say a movie is inappropriate for him.

Know what the ratings mean. “Rated PG: Parental Guidance Suggested – some material may not be suitable for children. Rated PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned – some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Rated R: Restricted – under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Rated X: No one under 17 admitted.“

Be open to talking about the questions your child is asking. Find out what he wants to know. To do these two things, talking and understanding the reason he asks, takes time and understanding. All of these topics need to be introduced and discussed with tolerance, acceptance, and understanding.

You need to take this one step at a time. You don’t have to have all the answers right away but be prepared to find the answers and be prepared to come back to these topics multiple times.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. To reach current First Teacher Executive Director Nicole Brewer, email nicole@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.