Having a baby is a very special event in your life and in your partner’s life. You really want to do a good job and be the best parent possible. It is critically important that you realize how important you are in your child’s life. Your importance is from day one and goes on throughout the rest of your life.

Raising a baby is a complex task. At no other time in your child’s development do things progress so rapidly. Before she is born her vision, hearing, and even her sense of taste have developed. All of her brain cells are there even before she is born.

Treat her gently, talk to her, sing to her, pat her, and love her before she is born. You are already important to her development. Even your excitement as her birth approaches will be communicated to her.

Self-care is key

So what can you do that makes a difference even in these days right after his birth?

One of the first things you need to do is to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. This isn’t always easy with a brand new baby. But even when it isn’t easy, you need to work on it. Enlist your partner’s help or even grandma’s help. Get some sleep. Take breaks from your new baby to rest and refuel. You will notice the difference in the quality of the time you spend together.

If you have postpartum depression with feelings of sadness, anxiety or restlessness, talk with your doctor or a friend. Get some help. Without solving this, you are less able to give your child the attention and love your new baby needs.

Routine is your friend

Create a predictable world for your baby. Provide a routine that lets your baby know what to expect. Even when your baby learns the routine, it allows him to spend less energy fussing over his needs and more time learning, relaxing, and enjoying life.

You will find your baby thrives on consistency not only at this age but in his growing years. So build a routine that suits your style and begin it now.

Before bedtime, read him a book (he’s not too young even now), give him a bath, play calmly with a stuffed animal, hug him, kiss him, and tell him “I love you.”

Provide a warm and loving environment. A baby’s ability to learn depends on her emotional well-being. A baby who is content and comfortable has an easier time learning about the world even in these beginning months. Tune in and respond to her. She cries only to let you know that she needs your help.

Since you cannot spoil an infant, pick her up whenever she cries. Show her you care about her by making eye contact (about 8-12 inches away), holding her close and rocking her in your arms.Helping hands

Be sure to involve your partner even in these early days of caring for your baby. In order for him to learn to be an involved dad, he has to be a hands-on dad. He needs to learn about parenting just like you do. The sooner the better.

Babies do well when they receive loving care. It helps their brains grow in a healthy way. I begins to shape their emotions as they grow. When a baby has had a secure and loving adult in his life, it helps him handle the ups and downs of life. Help your baby develop a healthy brain by giving him or her the tender loving care he or she needs to develop and grow properly.

Talking, hugs, love and care really do matter.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. For more information, call 360-681-2250.