Most of us would like to avoid talking about the difficult subjects with our children but we know we should do it anyhow. Tough subjects deal with sex, violence, and anything else that is uncomfortable to discuss.

A new subject to add to the list is the coronavirus. How should you talk about the many people who have not been visiting you or your child? How does our child make sense out of people wearing masks whenever you do go out?

The chances are your child will overhear you talking about the number of people who have died from this disease. Perhaps you have a relative in a home for the elderly and you have talked about the large number of deaths in those homes.

This subject is everywhere. Even if you wanted to avoid talking about it you would not succeed. It is on the news every morning and night. It is even on comedy shows and discussion shows. It is the headlines most days in the newspapers. It is why children are not going to school.

You don’t have a choice. You need to discuss coronavirus with your child.

Ask her what she knows about coronavirus or COVID-19 or any other name you have seen that means the same subject. Ask her if she knows anyone who has been sick from this. Talk about why school is out because of it. Talk about the ways we know that help prevent people from getting it. Talk about the importance of hand washing and how you need to do it. Even discuss with her the fact that younger people are much less likely to get this disease.

Certainly if you have a relative in a home for older adults who has this sickness, you need to discuss this with her. As you talk with someone who has this and is not doing well, you need to talk about what is happening and what is likely to happen soon. Death is not an easy subject either but if you talk about it with your child, it makes it more understandable.

You need to get in the habit of discussing tough subjects with her. She is going to hear about all the tough ones. It is better if she hears about them from you.

You want her to be comfortable talking about each of these difficult subjects. You want to make sure she can talk with you about anything. If you bring up the tough subjects it gives her permission to bring up subjects she feels are tough. After you talk about tough subjects they become less tough.

Do not wait for your child to have problems with tough subjects. Bring them up with her and diffuse the impact. You are like a model to your child.

When she sees that you can handle these subjects, it helps her see that she can handle them too. Make sure that each discussion ends with a hug and an “I love you!”

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. To reach interim First Teacher Executive Director Patty Waite, email patty@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.