Laundry is big deal in most homes. There is always a lot to do. The big question is, “Who should do the laundry?”

My answer as a mother of 10 children is simple — everyone. I include the oldest in the house and children down to the ages of 3 or 4. I feel this is about the age that most household chores should be done.

There is a lot that a young child can do to help around the house. From the standpoint of the laundry, your child of 3 or 4 can take clothes to where you wash them, take a younger baby’s diapers to the diaper pail, put clean underwear back in the drawer and any other task that can be done rather simply.

Your child should receive praise or at least compliments for helping and even hear you telling Grandma about how your child helps with the laundry.

But there are other household chores a young child can do. He can pick up toys and learn that is one of his responsibilities. Starting with one or two toys to pick up lays the foundation for the many, many he will learn to scatter about as he gets older.

He can put away his pajamas when he gets up in the morning. He can bring you a cloth to clean up a mess. He can put his towel over the rack after he has a bath. He can turn off the lights when he leaves the room, take his plate to the sink after lunch, pick up the dog bone that is in the middle of the floor, bring and put away the book you read together and any number of other small and easy tasks.

This is the beginning of the learning. It doesn’t start by doing all of these things, just some of them.

When you begin to teach about these tasks or responsibilities make it fun. Don’t sound bossy; sound eager and happy. Give him a high-five when he does one or several of them. You might even put them in next year’s holiday newsletter.

You don’t want to overwhelm him with little jobs when he is this age. You are just teaching him about being responsible. Help him be proud of his new accomplishments because there are many left to master.

But let’s not forget who else is helping with the laundry. Besides your little one, it really is fine to expect your teen to take her own clothes up and hang them up. You need to take care of yours so she should be able to take care of hers. Put them in a neat pile and remind her to pick them up as she goes to her room. Praise for her always is welcome and frequently forgotten.

Then there is your partner. Yes, I think he or she should help, too. If you are doing the laundry after you have been at work most of the day, expect your partner to either help with the laundry or possibly unload the dishwasher. If you are sharing work outside the home, then share work at home. Remember outside work counts.

Working together is a bonding experience. It is a way to develop a positive view toward work.

This lesson is just like most lessons in life. It is one more that parents can teach their children at a very young age.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.