The age of the cell phones has brought many changes in our lives. Some of the changes have been welcomed and others not.

Teens love their cell phones. If your teen has a phone, the chances are she wants it by her side on a regular basis. Sometimes you even need to regulate the use of the phone just to be able to have a reasonable conversation with her. Not having the phone with her at dinner time is a good idea.

One thing that is positive about cell phones is the power they give to parents. If your child is not doing what she is supposed to do or even if her grades are not where they should be, you have the power to take the phone for a period of time. Begin by taking phones for a brief time and if the behavior continues, you can keep the phone for longer period of time. You usually will find your child’s behavior changing.

One of the best reasons for having cell phones is when you really need to make an important call right at that time. That doesn’t mean when you are sitting across from someone and you take out your phone to call just anyone. It doesn’t mean when you want to play a game rather than talk with whomever you are with. It means when you really need to call someone because it is important.

A conversation you should have with your growing teen is about those times. Let your teen know that anytime she is out and she needs your help, she can call you. Emphasize the importance of what you are saying. Talk about the times this might happen so she gets the idea.

Certainly you should encourage her to call if she has a wreck in her car or especially in your car. You want to make sure she is OK and that she handles all the details in the right way.

Maybe she is out on a date and she becomes uncomfortable with the direction it is going. Tell her to give you a call and you will come get her.

Perhaps she had a couple of drinks and she knows she is less in control than she should be. This would be an important time to call.

Discuss when she might be at a party and she is uncomfortable because of the alcohol being consumed by everyone or the drugs being passed around. She doesn’t need to tell you all or even any of the details of why she is calling.

Just know that she needs you to come pick her up because she doesn’t want to be there in this environment.

These are all times you hope your child doesn’t get into but she might. She knows she shouldn’t be in this pickle so she may try to hide it by not telling you. It is important that you convey to her that you are there for her in these tough times and you would want her to call. She certainly won’t call if she feels you will totally be on her case if she lets you know what has happened.

You have to be accepting and put your emphasis on how responsible it was of her to call you when she was in a bad situation.

Cell phones can be a plus or a minus in a child’s life. Help her to learn the importance of the plus side.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.