Family traditions both small or big ones are special. They are the rituals that families hand down from one generation to the next. They promote a feeling of closeness and even strengthen the bonds within the family. They create emotional safety, security and fond memories for all the family. They are something everyone in the family can depend on.

Fun family rituals can happen daily, weekly or monthly. They can be centered around seasons or holidays. Sometimes traditions just develop over time and other times they are planned ahead of time.

Daily traditions include eating together or perhaps reading a book each night with your child. Even just the act of saying, “I love you” before your child is off to school each day is a tradition. Certainly the place of a bath at night before bed actually can be a daily tradition as well as a necessary activity sometime during the day.

Weekly traditions might include taking a walk every Sunday or watching a movie every Friday night. Maybe every Saturday morning your family makes waffles together. Perhaps you have a tradition of calling Grandma and Grandpa once each week.

Monthly traditions might include having a Daddy/child date or holding a family meeting. Seasonal traditions might be picking apples to make cider or applesauce each fall. Take pictures of the children on the first day of school each year. Bring out the sled when the first snow falls. Plant flower seeds each spring.

Holiday traditions certainly include dressing up for Halloween or eating a favorite meal on each person’s birthday. Making a big deal on your wedding anniversary is a celebration for many.

Family Christmas traditions are important right now. For some decorating the Christmas tree is a big tradition. Another tradition is to give all the children new pajamas. Even caroling is a wonderful tradition. The cookies for Santa are traditions for many families.

I have two 13-year-old grandsons living with us. They have been here for three years now. One of them taught me about traditions.

I recently mentioned the Christmas tree lots around town and even looked at the artificial trees available with the lights all on them ready to just put out in the living room. He said we absolutely couldn’t do that. He said it is a tradition in our family to look around our yard and pick out the Christmas tree and then decorate it. He was sure about this.

I realized this was part of his attachment to us and it was important that we maintain this tradition. He had many things going on in his life but he could see that traditions were important. He was right. We will go out looking in our forest to see what tree we can find. Part of the tradition in our home is that the tree doesn’t have to be perfect. Some of the trees we’ve had are beautiful. Others I wouldn’t put in that category. We have done this for the past 25 years and it would be an absolute shame to not continue this tradition.

Most of us live a busy life. We probably don’t spend as much time as we should on family bonds and strengthening family ties. Maintaining and creating our family traditions helps reverse this current trend. Traditions increase time families spend together and strengthen the family unit. When we are involved in working together on family traditions, we talk. This is a necessary ingredient in all healthy well-functioning families.

Family traditions are something steady, reliable and safe in our busy and at times confusing world. They benefit our children but they also benefit all of the rest of us.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation. Reach her at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.