Of all the jobs you will ever have, parenting is the most wonderful. At the same time it can be frustrating, exasperating and just plain tough.

The toughest part of parenting is probably the discipline side of the job. Keeping up with your child isn’t always easy. Children can be a challenge. They test you, and test you and test you. You really have to be on your toes.

Discipline for a school age child is just as important when your child was a toddler. Your role is just as important now as back then. Most of the rules of discipline from back then still remain important. Remember things like …

Be consistent.

Follow through.

Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.

Don’t back down.

Make the rules clear.

Expect respectful behavior.

If the rule was worth making, it is worth enforcing.

Expectations that you have for what your child should do may seem totally reasonable to you and the exact opposite to your child. That is why rules need to be clear. Along with being clear, it is important for you to be consistent and to follow through. Your role in helping keep your child on track is critical in all the growing years.

Following up

It is up to you to enforce whatever rules you set but that isn’t always easy. Learning to put your foot down with your child is a first step, but there is a lot more than that. The important part is how you follow through. What do you need to do when your child didn’t even seem to notice or care?

Children quickly figure it out if we don’t mean what we say and they respond accordingly. Your follow-through is the key.

Follow-through takes time and effort, but without it, it doesn’t matter if you put your foot down or not. When you say it is time for homework, mean it and enforce it. When you say it is time to turn off the TV and study for the test, mean it.

Only by your following-through does your child learn whether you mean it or not. She should learn to expect some consequence for going beyond the limits you have set.

No matter the age of your child, you should expect respect. Sometimes as children become teens, they begin to assert themselves. They imitate the behavior of their friends and of what they see on television. That doesn’t mean it is OK.

If your child is being disrespectful, let him know right away that it is not acceptable. Tell him calmly that he may not speak to you that way. That may end the conversation.

However, let him know that the next time it happens there will be consequences (lose phone privileges for a week, can’t see his friends on the weekend or extra chores).

Then, follow through. Do what you told him you would do. Treat him fairly but let there be consequences for disrespectful behavior.

It is a lot easier raising children of any age who mind, are respectful, do what you ask, are kind and considerate, and who abide by the rules. Keep up the good discipline techniques now and your life will be easier in the years coming up, beginning now.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.