As you know, February is the month when we celebrate Valentine’s Day, acknowledging the loving relationships in our lives. Before February ends I want to address the subject of relationships and longevity.
Man’s desire for longevity dates back centuries before Juan Ponce de Leon came to the New World seeking the illusive Fountain of Youth. For some reason we Americans seem to be possessed by these concepts and, as a result, scientists and psychologists continue to study the aging process — diligently.
These experts have discovered one of the key factors in living longer and healthier is to have quality, healthy relationships in one’s life. The operative words here are “healthy relationships.” These can include a spouse, children and grandchildren, along with other relatives and quality friends.
Psychiatrists and many medical doctors have understood for years that our thoughts and attitudes have a direct impact on the condition of our bodies. Once a psychiatrist friend shared how if our brain is sad our entire bodies will feel sad, down to our little toes, and if we are happy our entire bodies will feel happy, down to our little toes.
When we experience stress our body’s chemical functions change which in turn causes the secretion of large amounts of cortisol, the stress hormone. This creates a chain reaction, causing lowered immune function and increased inflammation which in turn creates other harmful physical ailments.
One major stress factor many people face is loneliness. This can lead to disrupted sleep patterns which in turn leads to elevated blood pressure and other harmful side effects. Loneliness has the potential to cause a person to engage in anti-social behavior, develop depression and even commit suicide.
A good, healthy relationship has the opposite effect. Connecting with others causes the brain to release oxytocin, one of the “happy hormones.” Experiments revealed how even making eye contact can increase oxytocin levels in the body. According to one study even eye contact with a person’s pet dog can increase this hormone.
When you are in the community conducting business or shopping why not make eye contact with the people you meet, being respectful of distancing. This can increase their ‘happy hormones’ and improve their mental health as well as your own.
Love helps to reduce anxiety and decreases the chance of developing depression and other mental illnesses. Other people can help us stimulate brain activity by sharing new thoughts and ideas. When needed, these people can help us create a sense of purpose in our lives.
COVID not only attacked our bodies, it also attacked our ability to enjoy our relationships.
Those of us who have a “loner’s personality” are acutely aware of this and must force ourselves to find creative ways to keep in touch. For me it has been easiest to send a greeting card, letter or a brief text. I will be making more eye contact, and more phone calls.
Last year my good friend and colleague Sandy Frykholm shared how she decided to start making phone calls to the important people in her life. Sandy recently held a virtual meeting with several cousins, sharing family news, and she told me how encouraging it was to see and to speak with one another, although they live in several different states.
As we continue to live our lives with covid restrictions, what can you do to nurture your important and healthy relationships?
Email and share your thoughts with us. I personally respond to every email information@crystallinn.com.
Crystal Linn is a multi-published author and an award-winning poet. When not writing, or teaching workshops, she enjoys reading a good mystery, hiking, and sailing with friends and family. See crystallinn.com.
