From the Back Nine: Segment three

  • Wednesday, April 7, 2021 9:45am
  • Opinion
Linda B. Myers

I’ve been thinking about Life Segments, maybe because spring is the time for renewal, or maybe because the COVID crisis shows signs of weakening its strangle-hold. We each have our own segments; mine are my Michigan youth, Chicago career, Washington aging.

Each segment has its own highs and lows, globally and personally. They overlap, although are mostly distinct from each other. As you move from one Life Segment to the next, you do your best to conquer old grief as you look forward to new joy.

My husband was not a part of Segment One but a major player in Segment Two. He was an unusual sort of fellow. After all, the Simpsons’ Itchy & Scratchy Show is produced by a cartoon character named after him.

He did not come very far with me into Segment Three. He missed a lot of bad stuff not being around for the last twelve years. He didn’t have to mourn shootings of Gabby Gifford; children in Sandy Hook and Parkland; shoppers at Costco, Walmart, and King Sooper; worshippers at churches and a synagogue; fun seekers at a nightclub, a bar, a movie theatre, the Vegas Strip.

He never suffered through Gangnam Style, or the Harry and Meghan melodrama, or heard that Robin Williams departed in a spectacularly unfunny way. He’ll never know that I have disassembled his shrine to Kansas basketball, or that I don’t watch March Madness anymore.

He would have loved Space X, the revived interest in opening the UFO secret files, the duets of Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett, and an iPad. I’m less sure about how he’d react to Instagram or to Dotty, my spoiled-rotten Maltese.

When a spouse dies, a new Life Segment probably begins for you. It might be little obligations that get you through from one to the next. The kitchen still needs to be cleaned, the African violet on the window sill still needs to be watered, and the utility bill still needs to be paid. A trick I found for the long haul: I look at current events from his point of view as well as my own, even though he is long gone.

We continue to agree or squabble. It keeps him part of my present.

But still. He is not a defining force in Segment Three. I’ve built a life I love with the help of family and friends. In that way, I am a success at this widow stuff. This is the segment that will see me out. It’s not his; it’s my own.

It’s also the Life Segment in which most of us can express our opinions loudly and freely. We’ve earned that right.

Linda B. Myers is a founding member of Olympic Peninsula Authors. Her newest historical novel, “Dr. Emma’s Improbable Happenings,” is available at Port Book and News, One of a Kind Gallery and Amazon.com. Contact her at myerslindab@gmail.com.

More in Opinion

tsr
From the Back Nine: Old dogs, new tricks

I had a terrific Thanksgiving. I proved to be a carving failure,… Continue reading

Bertha Cooper
Think About It: Counting votes

An email arrived last week that set me on a path of… Continue reading

Guest opinion: RIP Colin Powell

Colin Powell was one of those rare breeds; a political figure known,… Continue reading

Don Brunell
Guest Opinion: Taiwan, why the fuss?

Unfortunately, what happens in Taiwan doesn’t just stay in Taiwan, it impacts… Continue reading

Crystal Linn
Aging Successfully: The ‘Thanksgiving Countdown’

On Facebook some years ago, an unknown person started a “Thanksgiving Countdown.”… Continue reading

Letters to the editor — Nov. 24, 2021

Pandemic still rages, so get your shots About five years ago, I… Continue reading

Don Brunell
Guest opinion: By George, McGovern was right

Sen. George McGovern of South Dakota was never a darling of conservatives;… Continue reading

Bertha Cooper
Think About It: Being an annoying centrist

I received two responses (not published) through the Gazette to my recent… Continue reading

Being Frank: How do we stop tire debris from killing coho salmon?

Now that we know a chemical in our car tires is killing… Continue reading

Guest opinion: Local news hangs in the balance

The Senate is now deciding the fate of local news. As part… Continue reading

Don Brunell
Guest opinion: Honoring fallen heroes goes beyond lowering flags to half-mast

Lowering our flags to half-staff seems to be an all too familiar… Continue reading

Don C. Brunell is a business analyst, writer and columnist. He recently retired as president of the Association of Washington Business, the state’s oldest and largest business organization, and now lives in Vancouver. He can be contacted at thebrunells@msn.com.
Guest opinion: Ban Inslee’s natural gas ban

Gov. Jay Inslee’s end run around the legislature banning natural gas in… Continue reading