By Cynthia Martin

For the Sequim Gazette

We’ve heard a lot over the years about how important early childhood is for brain development, and that’s absolutely true. But what often gets overlooked is just how vital the final stretch of brain development is: the teenage years.

Recent research has revealed that the adolescent brain goes through significant changes — many of which shape how teens handle emotions, make decisions, and build self-awareness. In fact, the brain doesn’t finish developing until around age 25. The final 5% of this process can strongly influence intelligence, impulse control, and rational thinking.

That’s the good news — and the challenging part.

Positive behaviors during adolescence — things like learning an instrument, working hard at school, developing empathy, or taking on responsibilities — can become hardwired into the brain. Even better, it’s not too late for teens who are struggling. Positive change is still very possible.

But if a teen regularly engages in harmful behaviors — like frequent outbursts, apathy, or defiance — those patterns can also take root. The difference? The outcomes depend heavily on how the adults in their lives respond.

According to Dr. David Walsh, author of “Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!”, how parents react during this time may play a crucial role in shaping their teen’s brain and behavior. Harsh punishments or emotional outbursts from parents often escalate the problem.

What works better are intentional, supportive responses — ones that respect the emotional rollercoaster teens are on, while still holding them accountable.

Here are some of Dr. Walsh’s key insights that every parent should keep in mind:

Recognize that adolescence is a period of massive change. Your teen’s brain is under construction — literally.

Don’t pull away — adjust your approach. Teens still need connection, just in a different form than when they were younger.

Your teen is not an adult yet. Even if they look grown up, their brain is still learning how to manage judgment, risk, and long-term thinking.

You still matter. You are one of the most powerful influences in your teen’s life, even when they pretend not to care.

Your teen wants you in their corner. Despite eye rolls and closed doors, most teens crave the stability and support of knowing you’re on their side.

Real-world example

A parent once told me she was struggling with her teenage daughter, who seemed to be constantly defiant and distant. I recommended she read Dr. Walsh’s book.

A few weeks later, she called back to thank me — though with a twist. She hadn’t read the book after all. She just left it out on the kitchen counter, and her daughter noticed it. The title alone sparked enough curiosity (and maybe reflection) to help shift her negative behavior.

Parenting teens isn’t easy. But understanding what’s happening in their developing brains can help us respond with more empathy and fewer battles. The teenage years aren’t just a phase to survive; they’re an incredible opportunity to shape the adults our children are becoming.

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Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.