Friends to newlyweds, six decades later

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, August 1, 2018

A unique relationship-turned-courtship that began more than 60 years ago blossomed into a marriage.

It was all instigated, renowned Sequim photographer Ross Hamilton and his wife Kathy says, by a 7-year-old boy with a grasshopper.

The back-story goes something like this: Hamilton’s family liked to travel from their home in Burbank, Calif., and his father Oliver — the one-time mayor of Sequim — had a penchant for fly fishing. One day during a family trek to Montana, Oliver found himself on the Madison River, a tributary of the Missouri, when a youngster handed him a grasshopper, saying, “Here mister, fish with this.”

Oliver Hamilton got to talking with the family of the young boy and met Oliver Haney. Besides sharing first names, the two had a keenness for fly fishing, and soon the families became fast friends.

That included Ross Hamilton and Kathy Haney, then a pair of pre-teens. The couple figures they were about 10 or 11 when they first met.

Over the next few years — about three or four times, the couple recalls — the Hamiltons made the trek every other year to Montana, re-establishing the family’s bonds.

Ross would write to Kathy during his high school days.

“He sent pictures of the freeways,” Kathy recalls. “I sent him pictures of the desert.”

Their stories diverged for decades after Kathy married at age 19.

“We just lost track of each other,” Ross says.

Friendship, rekindled

Ross followed his parents to the Sequim area in 1969 after graduating from UCLA with a Master’s in marketing. While building a name for himself in photography, Ross worked in retail, first at the People’s Store in Port Angeles and then about 20 years between Southwoods and Frick’s. (The Hamiltons have a long-standing history in Sequim: his great-grandfather William Hamilton settled in the area in the 1880s).

In the 1970s, he purchased and began seriously pursuing photography as more than a hobby, Ross says. His annual “Olympic Peninsula” calendar has become a top regional seller and, now with Kathy’s work, Hamilton continues to create the product despite beginning to lose his vision in 2000 (his blindness now is nearly total, they note, with ability to only see light).

For most of her working life, Kathy was a hair stylist, including some time teaching at salons and even in a prison in Salem, Ore.

She and her husband Maux Barnes lived in Salem for a number of years before he died there in 2006.

Kathy says she was traveling to Victoria, B.C., with a friend a couple of years later when she noticed the town of Sequim on a map. The moment sparked memories.

“I called (Ross) and said, ‘This is a voice from the past,’” Kathy recalls.

The two rekindled their friendship on her return from Victoria. They traded emails.

“All these pictures started coming,” Kathy says.

Ross shrugs. “I like to brag about places I live,” he says. “This is such a beautiful country. It’s sort of a way to get acquainted.”

Kathy visited the area a few times — including an auspicious first visit when Ross took her to the Dungeness Cemetery — and she began considering moving from her Oregon home.

She asked her girlfriends, “’Should I move to Sequim?’ I debated back and forth. One day I was moving, the next day I wasn’t.”

One day, practically in tears, Kathy says she went to prayer for an answer.

“Just a little sign,” Kathy asked. “I need some direction.”

Ten minutes later, Ross called.

“And he never called,” Kathy says. “My hair practically stood on end.”

“I don’t know what motivated me to (call),” Ross says.

For decades, Ross had rented out his parents’ home near downtown Sequim. Never needing to advertise it, he says, people in need found him. And as they years passed, renters made improvements to the place, adding on here and there and supplying fresh coats of paint.

For a short stretch of time in 2009 the house was vacant, so Ross called Kathy to see if she was interested in renting it.

Friendship, grown

Kathy took Ross’ offer and soon joined the congregation at Dungeness Community Church, where Ross has served as a member and elder for 30-plus years. She started up with one of DCC’s women’s groups and found the church members — and Sequim overall — quite welcoming.

“Such a nice community,” Kathy says. “They know you at the bank. They know you at the grocery store.”

She also helps out at Sequim Museum & Arts and has steady mahjong and pinochle groups.

“She’s a doer; she isn’t one to just sit around,” says Ross, who notes he’s more of an introvert. “She likes people.”

Kathy also started to help with Ross’ business. They’d go out on picnics and hikes together as she got to know his trade.

“It just grew from there,” Ross says.

“We never got in any fights,” Ross says.

“I liked her, and I think she liked me. We were really just good friends for a decade. I enjoyed Kathy as a dear friend; in fact, she’s my best friend.”

Kathy eventually bought the house she was renting from Ross.

And while Ross was happy with the friendship, he says Kathy was hoping for something more from the relationship. That changed earlier this year, however.

One day — a regular working day, Ross recalls — Kathy told him, “I’m at peace.”

The comment somewhat unsettled Ross.

“I said, ‘Maybe there’s something more to this,’” he says. “It changed my perspective.”

Popping the question

Ross says he prayed about whether he should ask for Kathy’s hand — no small consideration, as Ross had been a bachelor for more than seven decades.

“I’d never been married and she had, so she had a leg up on me,” Ross says.

On June 1, Ross asked Kathy to marry him during a picnic on the Dungeness Spit.

Tim Richards, lead pastor at Dungeness Community Church — and one of Ross’ employees at Southwoods years ago — performed the ceremony on July 1.

“It was simple and fun,” Ross says of the ceremony. “Tim made it wonderful.”

Their wedding announcements include decades-old pictures they found in Ross’ mother’s journal, some they hadn’t seen in years.

“It took us right back to those times,” Kathy says.

Now aged 76 and 75, while Ross and Kathy continue to work on producing calendars — Hamilton’s 2019 edition is on sale now — the two are experiencing new levels of their relationship.

“I learned there was a possibility for more,” Kathy says.

“It’s incredibly nice,” Ross says. “I never expected to find marriage so sweet.”