Parenting in Focus: Are you listening?

Published 1:30 am Friday, April 24, 2026

By Cynthia Martin

for the Sequim Gazette

Raising teenagers is challenging. So is being a teenager. The good news is that there are things parents can do to make this stage easier for their teen and for themselves.

One of the most important parenting skills you can develop as a parent is listening. Parents who truly listen tend to have children who are willing to talk. This works only when listening is genuine — when parents resist the urge to lecture, interrupt, or immediately offer solutions. Below are a few guidelines to help conversations go better.

Be considerate.

If it’s not a good time to talk, say so. Don’t pretend to listen while distracted — your teen will notice.

Be honest.

If a topic makes you uncomfortable or you don’t know the answer, admit it. You can always suggest continuing the conversation later.

Don’t interrupt.

Let your teen finish their thoughts. Avoid jumping in, correcting details, or completing their sentences. They need to speak for themselves.

Really listen.

Focus on what your teen is saying instead of planning your response. Listening isn’t waiting for your turn to talk.

Encourage talking.

Use simple responses like “Then what happened?” or “That makes sense.” These signals show that you’re engaged and interested.

Be respectful.

Avoid anger, sarcasm, or embarrassment. This is not the moment to correct grammar or offer advice unless your teen asks for it. Mutual respect matters.

Let them know you heard them.

Even if you disagree, acknowledge that you understand their perspective. If something isn’t clear, ask questions — curiosity communicates care.

Make conversation a habit.

When one conversation goes well, others are more likely to follow. Regular, low-pressure communication builds trust over time.

Remember, the less you talk and the more you listen, the more your teen is likely to listen when you do speak. Learning how to communicate together takes practice. Ideally, that practice begins early — but if it didn’t, now is still a good time to start. It’s never too late.