Parents have many responsibilities in how they raise their children. Above and beyond the goal of most — to be good parents who help their child — is an additional task: to be the encourager of their child.

This is a task that begins early in the child’s life. It happens every time you tell your little one what a good little one he or she is. When you give her a hug and kiss and let her know you think she is wonderful.

An encourager makes sure that their child’s good behavior is supported.

You are laying the foundation for your child to have a positive view of herself. If you think she is worthwhile, she is more likely to think she is too. No one else is as likely to encourage her positive view of herself as you can.

We all want our children to have positive feelings about themselves. These feelings lay a foundation for your child’s self-confidence. With self-confidence, your child is ready to try new things, approach challenges with confidence and to handle failure in a positive way.

Your role

How can parents help? One important way to encourage your child’s self-confidence is to model confidence yourself. Approaching new tasks with optimism sets a good example.

Let your child learn from you that everyone makes mistakes and they shouldn’t let fear of failure stop them. Encourage your child to try new things. This helps them feel capable and confident.

Don’t always protect a child from failure. Trial and error is the way they learn. When your child fails at something, it can spur her to greater effort.

Praise your child when she keeps trying and trying. Learning not to give up is an important life skill. When your child is confident and has self-esteem it does not mean they will succeed at everything all the time.

Let your child know you are proud of her effort no matter what the outcome. Too frequently, we praise only the end result and only when it is a success.

Expect your child’s help no matter what age. Helping by picking up toys or doing dishes or their age-appropriate jobs helps your child feel needed.

Let your child know you love her no matter what and even when you’re mad at her. Let your child feel you think she is great and not just when she does great things. This will increase her feeling of self-worth even when she is not feeling great about herself.

As you do these encourager tasks, make certain you give yourself a pat on the back. This is about being a good parent.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.