If you are struggling to get your child to help clean up his room, you aren’t alone. This same battle is throughout the country. It all begins with Mom or Dad saying, “It’s time to clean up your room.” This usually is followed by the child rolling his eyes or outright whining. Even with louder words of encouragement from parents, the task slowly, very slowly, begins.

So what should a parent do? We shouldn’t ignore it and we shouldn’t clean the room for him. What we do is important.

Children need to learn to put their belongings in order because it is a skill they need as they grow up.

Parents feel they have to impose some order. Parents want the children’s rooms to be straightened up but kids are frequently happy with their room being messy. Kids go along with it a little. Parents expect a lot.

The end result is frequently everyone ends up in a bad mood.

If you are convinced that having things in order is a worthwhile task to teach your child, know that it should begin early. Don’t wait until the child is a teen; begin when your child is a preschooler.

But how can you succeed? Here are some hints.

Make it fun as you begin to teach cleaning. Do it together when he is small. Make it a game. Can he put more Legos in the box than you can? Have him count and he can learn math while is learning cleaning.

Do it regularly. If you only clean together every once in a while, he doesn’t learn the routine. Clean even each night so that if he gets up, he won’t stumble over any of the toys.

Be prepared for failing. If he doesn’t help, he needs to learn that this will bring along consequences. If he won’t help put the Legos away, then take them away for a couple of days. When he asks for them, ask him if he is willing to pick up before bed. Have him check it out when you are finished. Talk about how nice it looks. See if you can get him to appreciate the look of a clean room.

Tell others about what a good job he is doing. Let him hear you talk to his dad about what he is doing. Let him hear you praise him to grandma.

Define clearly what it means to have a clean room. Make a checklist the kids can refer to with pictures for little ones, simple words for older ones.

Make your bed. (With a young child, be liberal on when it is done.)

Put laundry in hamper. (All ages can do this one.) Hang up clothes. (Even hooks can help.)

Put toys and equipment away. (You know about this one.)

Vacuum your floor. (Depends on how tough it is for your younger child to use your vacuum.)

Now you’re done. (You are never done.)

A place for everything and everything in its place. Figure out a place for everything. The availability of plastic bins or even just boxes can really be a help. Together label the bins and figure out where they will go.

Include lots of conversation. Keep your expectations at a reasonable level and show him how it’s done. As your little one becomes better, you can just talk more together.

Change the rules as your child becomes a teen. Older kids have different rules or at least they should have. Now is a time to back off a little.

A little doesn’t mean throw in the towel. It is still your home and you are still in charge. It is one thing to allow privacy but a pile of dirty socks can become very smelly.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.