Sequim ‘liar’ looks to defend contest title

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, May 31, 2017

The Liars Contest, an annual party hosted by the nonprofit Story People of Clallam County, brings 10 competitors before a skeptical audience in the Raymond Carver Room at the Port Angeles Library, 2210 S. Peabody St., on Saturday, June 3.

The fibbing will begin at 7 p.m. Saturday. Admission is $10 or $8 for Story People members, with proceeds to go toward other storytelling events in and around Port Angeles and Sequim.

“I’m hoping to defend my title,” said Colleen Squier, who won the 2016 Liars Contest with her elaborate tale about Chinese won tons.

“But maybe I’m a one-lie wonder,” she quipped, adding that in any case, this competition is a hoot for everybody involved.

“A creative, entertaining, mind-expanding lie is a beautiful thing,” said Squier.

To her mind, a tall tale must stretch the mind of the listener a little bit at a time. She’s seen Portland, Ore., storyteller Anne Rutherford do this with an ode to urban chickens. By the end, Squier said, it was completely believable that such a bird was elected chairman of the homeowners’ association.

While Squier took first place last year, Port Angeles Fire Department Chief Ken Dubuc came in second with his account of an incident in Fiji.

“A barracuda took my arm off,” he said.

“It has a happy ending that involves duct tape.”

Surprisingly perhaps, no one at last year’s contest called Dubuc “liar, liar, pants on fire.” At least Ingrid Nixon of Sequim, the mistress of ceremonies, doesn’t recall that being said.

Dubuc is back, to compete again along with 2016 third-place winner Tobey Anderson and a field of other liars.

No previous experience is necessary to partake in the Liars Contest, Nixon noted. She has an almost-full slate, but if anyone wants to sign up as an alternate, “come early, about 6:30, and talk to me.”

Lies must be seven minutes in length — with a one-minute grace period — and suitable for family audiences; no profanity or off-color content. And the tellers must recite, not read.

A panel of judges including Chris Wright, director of the Forest Storytelling Festival of Port Angeles, Perry Spring of the Quimper Story Guild and Retired Marine Corps Gen. Rich Hearney will choose the champions. First place brings a cash prize of $100; second place $50 and third $25, plus trophies Nixon calls simply “incredible.”

Nixon will serve as mistress of ceremonies, and no, the irony of her last name in a liars’ event does not escape her. She can do a brief “I am not a crook” riff on President Richard M. Nixon’s well-known assertion.

But most of all, she loves finding out what the storytellers come up with — and hearing the audience react.

“I never know what to expect,” she said.

Liars Contest-goers will have chances to buy raffle tickets for the Forest Storytelling Festival quilt and for a $1,000 Costco Wholesale gift card. These raffles raise money for the festival, which takes place at Peninsula College in Port Angeles from Oct. 20-22.

For more about the Liars Contest and other local storytelling events, see ClallamStoryPeople.org or email Nixon via Newsletter@ClallamStoryPeople.org.