Parenting In Focus: Paying attention to differences

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Most people are somewhat alike but some are a bit different. It helps for your children to be made aware of the differences. You are the key to helping your child understand ways that people may need help and ways to be kind to others. Pay attention to the many people in your midst who are different and talk with your children about these differences.

I met a man at one of the restaurants in town who was missing one arm. It was important to my children to recognize this kind of difference. We talked with the gentleman who was very helpful to my children as he showed them how he could still eat by himself, drink his coffee, turn the page on the book he was reading and pretty much do everything he could before he lost his arm when he was in the service. He helped my children think about those in our community who are different.

My neighbor has a child who is significantly impaired. I didn’t know how my children would react so I asked the neighbor what I should do. She let me know exactly how to introduce this child to my children. I learned about my neighbor’s child and how I could help. It was like a class in itself to talk with her. My children learned but so did I.

People who are different need to be understood just like other people need to be understood. Find out how you can help and what you need to do to help. Make the effort to understand people who are different and then to help your children be more accepting of these people.

We live in a town with many elderly people. Helping your child understand that he or she can be helpful to many people. If your neighbor is older suggest to your child that your child can offer to bring in the neighbor’s mail for them or bring in their trash can or bring their newspaper up to their door. Each of these things is a small way to be kind to someone who can use some help. These are ways to help people who could use some help but they are also ways your children can learn to be kind to others.

We want our children to be kind to other people but seldom do we talk with them about what that means. Give your child hints on kindness. Talk about the people who need some help or even the people who would just be grateful for some small amount of assistance. Kindness is a personal trait that is learned like most things. It is well worth the effort to teach your child. You need to talk about it.

Your child needs to learn what it is all about. Your child needs you to help him or her learn the importance of kindness and how it works.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.