Parenting In Focus: Building a bond with your child

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Whether you are a new parent, an older one or even a grandparent, raising a grandchild, you continue to work on building a bond with your child.

Perhaps you have taken on the responsibility of raising a grandchild or a niece or nephew. Maybe you have adopted an older child. No matter how this new child has come into your life, it is an important time to consider how you increase the bond you have with her or him — a bond that is essential for his welfare and even for yours.

Children who feel they are strongly connected to adults in their lives are more likely to move ahead with their lives in a positive manner. This doesn’t mean they have to give up any other significant person they have known; this bond with you is built on trust, love, consistency, caring, acceptance and responsibility.

Children learn by doing. If your child sees you being kind and loving towards other people, he will learn to do the same. Let him see you donating to the food bank or sharing with United Way to help those people in need. As your child sees you giving, it helps him incorporate giving into his life.

Being loving towards your child is important; this teaches him to be the same. Tell your child and show him your appreciation, spend time alone with him, and treat him with respect. All these are ways to bond and also ways to teach being a responsible person.

Talking about drugs

One tough area in today’s world is the problem of drugs. Talking to your young child about drugs can be difficult. It is easier to talk with your child when he or she is in elementary school than to try to intervene once experimenting has begun.

As a trusted figure in a young child’s life there are ways you can help decrease your child’s potential drug use. Try these techniques to help with decreasing the potential of becoming involved with drugs but also to prevent other problem behaviors.

• Talk with your child about life and the many struggles it involves.

• Learn about drugs and talk with your child about drugs or other poor behavior.

• Know where your child is at all times.

• Spend time, lots of it, with your child.

• Call the parents where your child says he or she will be after school.

• Know your child’s friends.

• Know where your child is on the weekends, too.

• Follow through on what you tell your child to do.

• Keep your relationship based on positive interaction with your child rather than negative.

• Make sure your child hears regularly that you love him.

This is all part of being a loving parent.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.