Parenting In Focus: Your new driver

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, October 11, 2023

One thing older citizens have in common with teenagers is the high rate of automobile accidents. For both young and old, males are the primary problem. The big difference between teen auto accidents and older citizen accidents is that older people are more frequently injured.

Auto accidents are worth talking about with your teen, but be open about accidents with older people, too. It is important to talk with your teen about the number of young people whose accidents involve alcohol or other drugs.

Traffic accidents are the No. 1 killer of American teenagers. The accidents are most serious for first-year drivers. So what can a parent do to prevent this tragedy from happening to their teen?

Think about your specific teenage child. Does he make good decisions in his life? Does he have good grades which show him to be most responsible? Good grades and good decisions are a reasonable way to show his readiness to drive.

Set clear consequences for poor driving. This means talk with him about what will happen if he makes poor driving decision before they actually happen.

One rule that teens frequently break is related to driving and using the phone at the same time. If he speeds, uses alcohol, doesn’t pay careful attention, or doesn’t follow the rules set by you or that are written about in his driving booklet, you will take action.

Taking action means limiting his use of your car, taking his phone away when he is using the car, or limiting his time away from home. Taking action might be restrictions imposed on him for his unsafe driving.

Teens whose parents clearly set consequences and follow through significantly reduce the chances of their teen being involved in unsafe behavior behind the wheel.

As your teen becomes a driver, make sure he drives safely. One way is to write your own rules of the road and specific consequences if he breaks them.

One parent set it up so that first her teen is expected to wash the car each week. Then if he makes the honor role, he can use the car for school activities, errands and dates. If he drinks or uses drugs, there will be no driving for two months. These rules really captured the attention of her teenage driver and even of his younger brother.

The one other essential element of setting rules for your teenage driver is to be a good model yourself. It is easy to talk about rules for others but equally easy to break those same rules yourself. You are the primary driver your teen learns from.

Let the lessons you give him daily be the ones you know sets a high goal for him.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.