Dementia Caregiving 101: Denial can pose risks when dealing with dementia

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, February 11, 2026

By Linda Klinefelter

February, celebrated for Valentine’s Day and Cupid’s love, is a fitting time to explore how love and denial often intertwine when faced with dementia.

We often overlook the subtle signs and symptoms of dementia to avoid hurting our loved ones’ feelings or causing distress. This is especially true if pointing out forgetfulness or questionable decisions has been met with anger.

As a result, by the time we realize it’s crucial to seek help, the disease may have advanced, our loved one may be entrenched in denial, and the cycle of denial and anger can be challenging to break.

How do we approach what feels unapproachable?

Dementia and denial are deeply intertwined, often triggering stress, anxiety, and frustration — especially when a loved one resists acknowledging the disease. Denial can lead to poor decisions, put others at risk, and delay the actions needed to slow the disease’s progression.

It’s essential to communicate with your loved one’s medical provider, provided that you are included on their HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) form. Being designated on this form enables open, valuable communication with the medical team, ensuring you are fully informed and involved in care.

I often hear from caregivers who face challenges due to not being listed on the HIPAA form, making it incredibly difficult to access vital support and information for their loved ones. To help you navigate this situation and find the assistance you need, consider these thoughtful suggestions:

• Engage with a trusted family member or close friend who shares a strong, positive bond with your loved one. This might be a sibling, an adult child, or a long-time friend. When you have this conversation, focus on expressing your genuine concern and love, rather than criticizing behaviors. This approach fosters a more open dialogue and can lead to constructive solutions.

• Although you might not be included in your loved one’s HIPAA form, that doesn’t stop you from reaching out to their medical provider. Writing the medical provider is essential. In your letter, be sure to acknowledge that you understand the provider cannot respond to your concerns. However, it’s vital to convey your concerns about significant health issues that could suggest the presence of dementia. By sharing this information, you play a critical role in advocating for your loved one’s well-being.

Faced with significant resistance, decisions or actions may put our loved one at risk.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s worth considering the guidance of an elder law attorney. These specialists are well-versed in the unique legal, financial, and health needs of the elderly and disabled.

While seeking an elder law attorney may not resolve every issue when a loved one is in denial, it can provide valuable support and guidance. This empowers you to offer steadfast care and compassion as your loved one navigates the challenges of dementia.

Caregiving often brings immense stress, and minimizing the challenges can lead to frustration and anger.

In addition to the suggestions above, actively seek support. External resources and support networks can offer caregivers valuable insights and strategies they might not have considered.

By reaching out for help, you protect your own well-being, prevent burning out, and provide better care for your loved one.