We used to think that it was better not to talk about other races and in that way, your child would grow up without prejudice. We now know that it doesn’t work that way, particularly in today’s world.

To help your child understand people of other races, you need to talk to her or him about other races. Certainly, with the news of today being what it is, there is ample information to introduce your child to racial issues. Children are being exposed to these issues daily. They hear about the problems but that doesn’t mean they understand the problems.

You just need to help them understand what is happening. Studies show that when parents talk openly with their children about race, the results are the same as when parents began to talk openly with their children about what women/girls could do. Attitudes changed and women’s belief in their own abilities changed, too.

Talking about problems in simple ways helps your child learn about the problem.

A parent’s approach

There are many different and easy ways to talk with your child about race. If there are minority children in their class, that opens a possibility. Check out books that have children of different races in them, so you have another way to bring up the subject.

If you have someone in your neighborhood who is of another race, encourage your child to play with any children from the family. Always be careful to use positive words to describe other people, not negative ones.

You don’t need to use many of the pictures of destruction to tell the racial stories involved. Pick carefully. Don’t go too deeply into racial issues other than to talk about equality and sameness.

Whatever tool you use, be sure to talk about racial issues in ways your child understands. Remember how young your child is. Keep the discussion at your child’s level.

If you talk about treating people equally, that may be difficult for your young child to understand. If you talk about how people are alike and that there aren’t many differences, that is easier for her to understand.

If your child is around the age of 3, racial issues are probably not a big deal to them. Children of any race are unlikely to group different racial groups until around age 7 (“I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla,” Marguerite A. Wright, 1998).

Your discussions ought to recognize this growing change in what you discuss with your child and how you discuss it.

The best thing we can teach our children is to be accepting of other children. We need to teach them that color doesn’t matter. We need to teach them to welcome others no matter what their race.

We need to teach them that their own color does not define who they are any more than it does for anyone else. We need to parent our children in ways that increase our acceptance of others.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.