Your child is growing up, and you can remember when she was younger and would be upset and get tearful or maybe angry and have an emotionally upset day.

Now your child is older, but you still can see the impact of having a rough day.

So what can you do?

The first thing is to let your child experience their emotions she is having. If your son came home upset because he got a B instead of an A, let him be upset but also give a hug. If your daughter comes home angry that her team lost the game, let her be angry.

The emotions of your children at any age are a part of their lives and need to be met with acceptance. (“Different Children, Different Needs,” C. Boyd, 1994).

Would you like it if your friend told you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do just because your boss just passed you over? Listen to your child; sometimes that is all they may need.

Then, accept and reflect their feelings without judgement by talking about those feelings. By showing your child how she appears, you are helping her label her own feelings. This helps her understand and lets her know that it is acceptable both to have and to show her emotions.

You are critical in helping your child have a healthy self-image. When your child has a good self-image she can handle the tough times (“Social, & Emotional, Development in Middle Childhood,” brightfutures.org).

Try these ways to help her feel good about herself:

• Accept her unique personality even if it is not always what you expect.

• Strive for balanced behavior. If he is active, structure some calm, quiet time each day.

• Support her interests, ideas, and activities not what you think they should be.

• Let him take reasonable risks within safe limits.

• Be a positive model of responsible, appropriate behavior. Remember, your child’s first teacher.

Try new things with your child. As she signs up for next year’s classes encourage her to try new things. Courses or after school programs are offered in art, sports, drama, and music.

Encourage him to try something he’s never tried before. Have him check into different activities for the summer. His growing years are a great time for experimenting, with new interests that develop over time.

This is a time when children need parents to be understanding and to listen. You can’t solve their issues, but just being there is incredibly helpful.

Your child knows you love them, but do they feel loved?

Remember to compliment, hug, kiss, laugh, spend time together and talk.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation.