We know that children dream, and unfortunately we even know that toddlers have nightmares at times. Preschool age children have difficulties separating what is real from what is not real. Your child might have such a strong imagination that you may have difficulty convincing him that the monsters or fierce dogs of his dreams are not real.
What can you do when your little one wakes from having vivid dreams?
1. First, reassure him that he has had a bad dream. Have him tell you about his dream. See if you can give him assurance that it was a dream.
2. Help him have less stress in his life. Evaluate what he is watching on television and see if it is too scary for his age. Pay attention to the games he is playing before he goes to bed. Evaluate the stress that game adds to his bedtime routine.
3. Pay attention to the bedtime stories you read together. It is very easy to have stories become scary to a child of this age. Make sure the stories you are reading are not adding to his stress level.
4. Make sure his bedtime routine is soothing and relaxing. Talk with him. Encourage him to share his feelings with you.
5. Do not roughhouse just before he goes to bed. It is easy for you to recognize that you are just playing around but it may not be easy for him to feel comfortable just before bedtime.
6. Avoid mentioning scary things. These are the kind of subjects that set the tone for a scary night.
7. If your child has been having bad dreams regularly, be sure to talk with him in the morning to see if he was able to ignore a night with bad dreams.
8. Be sure to pick out a perfect book for the two of you to read together. While he is having bad dreams, you might be the better one to pick out the book you read together.
9. Make sure that your evening activity includes a big hug and a kiss.
Encourage your child to share his or her bad dreams. Sometimes just talking about a bad dream helps your child not be upset with a bad dream.
If your child is young and doesn’t have a lot of words, help him. If he says “bear” ask if the bear was scary. Certainly don’t ask if the bear was trying to eat someone because that might make it even scarier. Let him tell you about his dream or about the bear. Don’t supply all the details. Let him give the details of his dream.
You might not want to talk about bed bugs biting when you tell him to not let the bed bugs bite as you kiss him goodnight. The Spanish saying about “May you sleep with little angels” might be a better way to say good night.
Don’t forget the hugs and kisses.
Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. To reach interim First Teacher Executive Director Patty Waite, email patty@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.
