My sister ordered shampoo from Costco. Turns out it was a buy-one-get-one bargain, and we received two industrial-sized drums of the stuff. We will not have to buy shampoo again for the rest of our days.

This got me to thinking about what else I’ve done or purchased for the last time. Some of this is delightful, like not having to go through the car buying song-and-dance ever again. I expect my current chariot will carry me through the last of my Sunday drives. Also on the delightful side?

Certain medical procedures I’ve aged out of; you can guess.

Some of it is sad, like knowing I won’t ever get another puppy. My old dog will see me out or vice versa. Some of it is even pre-planned … I chose a doctor enough younger than me to go the distance. I won’t have to start over, or at least that’s my theory.

Some of it is obligation; we’re getting the house painted this summer. Never again (have you checked the price of paint lately?).

My memories of travel are better than actual travel. There aren’t enough bathrooms in the desert to make me truly comfy on long road trips anymore. Going on a cruise loses its appeal as getting on the ship means battling the other 2000 passengers, each armed with a mobility device.

And OMG, a plane to fly the friendly skies? Think more in terms of the “Head ‘em up, move’em out” school of cattle drives.

Fortunately, I’m running out of money to travel at about the same time I’m running out of desire to travel. I’ve bought my last suitcase.

I’ve also bought my last bottle of alcohol (it conflicts with my old lady pills). I’m done with artwork for my walls. I’ll switch to paper plates if this dishwasher hits the bricks.

But! This doesn’t mean my shopping sprees are done. The tree I plant today won’t grow to shade a reunion picnic in my lifetime. But plant we must. I will continue buying books and shoes although I can’t conceivably wear out the ones I’ve stockpiled.

I’m signing up for another poetry class or two … writing a poem doesn’t take as long as writing a book, and it keeps my mind active.

I have not expressed my last opinion, made my last friend, had my last dark chocolate. These valuables I take with me right up to the brink of the great beyond.

Linda B. Myers is the author of 10 novels, including “Starting Over Far Away,” available at Port Book and News, Pacific Mist, and Amazon. You can reach her at myerslindab@gmail.com.