Parenting In Focus: Talk about the future

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Sure, it’s tough to predict the future but it is still important to think about it and to plan for it. Most adolescents think at least a little about it. As part of that plan it is important to talk with your adolescent child about her plans for the future.

Where does she want to be five years from now? How about 10 years from now?

What does she think it will take to get her to the place in her plan? Is it a specific skill, going to college, or maybe just luck? Does she think she is doing today what she needs to be doing to have her plan work for tomorrow?

When teens think about the future they are less likely to get into trouble in the present. They have a goal. Having a goal even immunizes her from some of the pressure from her friends.

Help your teen focus on a goal or on a series of goals. Hear her dreams for the future and try to support them. Be ready for changes in her plans but that is okay. It’s having a plan, even if it changes that makes a difference.

Make use of dinner. Dinner is a wonderful way to stay involved with your adolescent. This is a good time to talk together about what happened today and what she wants to have happen in the future. These are things that don’t happen if people are watching television, on their phone, eating by themselves or skipping dinner altogether. Let your teen know that dinner is an important time and one you value. Work hard to make this helpful time work.

Talking about the future includes talking about money and which jobs are most desirable. Show her how she can find out about jobs on the computer and even find out how much they pay.

When you are talking about her plan for her life, be sure to include your own thinking about having children and how they fit for you and potentially for her. It isn’t just moms who need to think about raising children but also dads.

Another hint that helps your child think about the future. Pick up an application, any application. Bring it home for your teen to learn how to fill out a job application.

Talk with her about what kinds of jobs she would like to have after she gets out of school. Start by even talking with her about what kind would she like to have for next summer?

You are one of the primary sources of information she has on jobs. Talk about your first job. Tell her what you liked and didn’t like about every job you ever had. Try to remember what you wanted to become when you were her age.

Every topic that creates a conversation with your adolescent child is valuable. Enjoy your time together and always be sure to include some positive feedback for what she has added and a hug to remind you both how important you are to each other.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.