Parenting In Focus: Some topics worth discussing

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, February 21, 2024

When you read something you find interesting, share it with your teen. From these discussions, your growing child will learn new things and maybe talk about some of the new things she has learned. You might also learn something about a new subject or maybe just learn something new about your growing child.

Especially at this age, you need to talk with her about not drinking alcohol. We know that by just talking about drinking, the chances of your child drinking are decreased. You need to learn how to discuss this topic.

Find out the facts so you can answer her questions. Remember that teen girls are just as likely to drink alcohol as teen boys. (It may change as your children get older but in these early years of drinking it is pretty much the same.)

Remember, your child is far more likely to drink alcohol than to use drugs. You need to talk about each of them. Then you need to know where she is, make sure there are adults supervising, and that you pay attention to signs that she may be using alcohol or drugs.

Encourage her to learn more about alcohol and drugs. One great resource is on the computer. The use of the internet has become one of the great sources for teens. Take advantage of this and suggest she visit the Council of Chief State School Officers at ccsso.org/resource-library/cool-spot.

This website, geared toward young teens, is provided by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism and is programmed to provide teens with information about alcohol. It offers reasons not to drink and teaches teens how to resist peer pressure.

These are also topics worth looking at for yourself because you need to learn how to discuss these issues.

Another topic worth discussing is smoking. While great progress has been made in the number of smokers, there are still too many. This is particularly true for teenagers.

The way you have been raising your child significantly impacts the messages you try to send her. Research shows that your child is less likely to smoke if you demonstrate the following behavior:

You are sensitive to your child’s needs as she grows older. For example, teens need to find ways to demonstrate their growing independence.

You spend time explaining the reasons for most of your rules and decisions. (Example: everyone shares chores around the house because that’s one way family members help each other.)

You have high expectations for her behavior. (For example: Homework is finished each day.)

If you do these things, showing your respect for her, she will likely pay more attention to your opinions and values when it comes to the important issues such as alcohol and tobacco use.

This is also one more way you keep the lines of communication open between you and your teen. Keeping this open between you is the most important goal.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.