Think About It: Choosing when to let go of life

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, July 15, 2026

It should not be unexpected that at my age of 83 that I will lose friends and family close to me. In fact, I should be more informed than most since my career has been around aging.

But wisdom holds no promise of easy acceptance because we have been warned that we will lose people. I have known for a year and written about it that my beloved stepdaughter 10 years younger than I would die this year of pancreatic cancer.

She died May 1, the day she chose to end her pain and sadly let go of life.

Of course, it was no coincidence that she entered another month of benefits through her employment and death benefit.

And of course I was heartbroken, as were her adult children and other family members.

We knew she made a well-thought-out decision having received counseling during her terminal illness. The administration of the medication was allowed under Medical Aid In Dying (MAID).

Her choice was not a surprise as she always faced life’s challenges head on without pretense.

Her decision afforded us — her children, one brother, one sister-in-law and me, her stepmother of 54 years — an opportunity to have our last words with her.

And yes, they were tearful and full of love and gratitude spoken for each other. I am sure her final gift was meant to be the gift of closure and peace in our days of grief to follow.

I know she was weary; pancreatic cancer and its related chemotherapy and symptom management treatments and medications are complex and physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Like every family in the same circumstance, we kept wishing for a miracle.

All was done to have a bit more time with family, friends and all the animals she loved. She and we knew her disease was incurable.

I accepted her decision to leave at this moment and we spoke words of love and reassurance. I will be forever grateful in part because I had the comfort of knowing she and I spoke our final words to and for each other.

Canada’s MAID legislation became law March 17, 2021.

The Washington Death with Dignity Act (Initiative 1000) was passed on Nov. 4, 2008, and became effective March 5, 2009. It permits mentally competent adults with a terminal illness expected to cause death within six months to request a prescription for medication they can self-administer to end their life in a humane and dignified manner (RCW 70.245).

A key difference in Canada’s law is in the administration of the fatal dose of medication. A physician administered the lethal dose to my stepdaughter.

More information about our state law can be found through an Internet search.

Seeking interviews

On another note, I am seeking people to interview for my next book on aging. I am about to begin research on my book about life after 80. Some readers may remember the book I wrote on women aging, aptly titled “Women, We’re Only Old Once,” published in 2020 about aging which I wrote primarily for women 55-75 years old.

I wrote it to gain understanding of my own aging, the potential, the pitfalls and how we can make the most of that time of life to “keep what I can, let go what I can and enjoy what I have.” I interviewed about 50 people for that book.

My primary reason for this book is to add to the dialogue, challenge the mischaracterizations of aging in our culture, present a realist view, and emphasize the potential of aging. This book, unlike the other that focused on women, will present aging related to both men and women.

Indeed, there are specific circumstances of living in our 80s and older; the challenges are unique in just about all ways from our younger years. I am looking for people in their early to late eighties willing to share their perspective/experiences through interviews done in person or by phone. Some might be used in future columns. I need to complete interviews over the next 60-70 days. Those interested can email editor@sequim gazette.com.