Parenting in Focus: Hey! Pay attention
Published 1:30 am Monday, May 25, 2026
By Cynthia Martin
for the Sequim Gazette
Every parent knows the frustration: you ask your child to listen, and their mind is somewhere else entirely. But what if paying attention wasn’t just a matter of good manners — it was one of the most important life skills a child could learn?
Recent research suggests exactly that. In a long-term study highlighted in Mind in the Making, Columbia University researchers identified three key skills linked to later success: reading, math — and the often-overlooked ability to pay attention. Children who focused more deeply didn’t just learn more; they remembered more and applied that learning better.
The science of focus
At the University of Oregon, scientists went a step further. They gave four- and six-year-olds a short training program designed to improve attention. The results were striking: not only did the children’s focus improve, but so did their self-control, reasoning, and problem-solving. In just days, their ability to manage themselves — and their learning — jumped forward.
Despite findings like these, attention isn’t a skill we often talk about. Parents may scold a child for “not listening,” but we rarely think about teaching focus the same way we teach reading or math. Yet, researchers say, it’s a skill that can — and should — be nurtured.
How parents can help
The good news? Building attention doesn’t require flashcards or apps. It often begins with something simple: following a child’s natural interests. Kids who love animals, sports, or art will naturally pay more attention when engaged in those topics. The trick is to guide that focus into deeper learning.
Games can also be powerful tools. Consider:
Simon Says and I Spy teach listening, memory, and rule-following.
Sorting games build flexibility. Ask your child to group objects by color, then switch and sort by shape. Suddenly, they must pause, reset, and think — a mini workout for focus and self-control.
Rule-changing challenges add variety. Let your child invent new rules for a familiar game or rename everyday objects in a silly way. These playful twists keep their brain sharp and engaged.
Simon Says: Great for listening and self-control.
I Spy: Sharpens observation and memory.
Sorting Switch: Sort by color, then by shape to practice flexibility.
Rule Maker: Let your child change the rules of a game; this keeps them alert.
Attention skills are not about forcing kids to sit still for hours. They’re about teaching children how to notice, remember, and adapt — skills that ripple into every part of life, from schoolwork to relationships. And like any muscle, your child’s focus grows stronger with practice.
So, the next time you play a simple game with your child, remember: you’re not just having fun. You may be helping them build one of the most important skills for their future success.
