Parenting Matters: Who is driving whom and where?

Published 2:00 am Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Your child’s 15th birthday is a big deal. It doesn’t seem like it right away but then it begins to happen.

Talks about learning to drive begin to happen. Even though you know that there is no problem until he is 15-and-a-half, the worry begins.

Do you know what the law is about your child driving? You had better become familiar with it. It is different than when you were this age.

You need to be prepared because you have a major role. Take a look at the requirements of the Washington State Department of Licensing for a young driver (see box).

What does all of this mean to you? Your child must have a permit to drive. This means your child is 15 ½ and in a driver training school which may cost between $425 and $475. He must pass the driver’s knowledge test. You need to verify that you have supervised 50 hours of practice time. You have a lot to do.

And on top of all of this, you need to maintain your cool while your baby learns to drive. You need to be firm about stop signs, speed, following cars too closely, looking ahead and a lot more. Be sure to buckle your seat belt. Hopefully you are buckling up at other times also.

This is an absolutely exciting time for most teens. It is as if this signals becoming an adult even when it doesn’t quite do that.

This time has some pluses and some minuses for you too. First, there is the fear. Then there is letting your child have this increased independence that can be a bit uncomfortable. It even makes you examine your car situation to see which one you will let him drive or even which one you will not let him drive. Those are some of the tough things.

But looking at this from a different view might also be helpful. This is rather like your child having a telephone of his own. It can be something he is so excited about that it becomes one more way to help in disciplining him. You always can take away the phone when he is not doing his homework. You always can take away the car when he doesn’t let you know when he is coming home or where he is going.

Most of the things your child wants are the things that can help you make sure he does what you want him to do.

So look at learning to drive as a plus. Just think about the times when you have to go to the store because you forgot something. Remember the times you have to stop everything to go get his little sister. Think about how difficult it was to get the car washed regularly; now you have someone who eagerly volunteers.

There can be some really positive things about this year. You just need to really hang on and be patient.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.

Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.