By Cynthia Martin
For the Sequim Gazette
Parenting can be tough. Kids can be tough. There is no lunch break or time to leave when you are done because you are never done. So how does one get a break?
It begins by recognizing that you need to have some time off.
No one is going to come up and tell you that you have a break, or it is time for you to take time for yourself. You must make sure you get the time you need. Your children need you to take the time you need. It makes you a better parent for them.
Getting a break can be taking an exercise class or going for coffee with a friend. It can be asking your husband to give you a break for 30 minutes so you can read by yourself. It can be decided that if your partner can have a “Daddy Night” you can have a “Mommy Night” to refresh yourself.
Look at your friends with children the same age as yours. Could you trade off and one day you take her kids and next week, she takes yours? You can use the day to go shopping, stay home and sleep, and maybe go out to lunch with your husband or with a friend.
When your partner asks what you want for your birthday, think about something that would rejuvenate you such as having your nails done or having a massage or going to an exercise class. You may have to spend some time to really think what would give you a fresh start. After you figure out what you want, then set about figuring out how to make it happen. It almost always means you must have the help of others such as your parents, a friend, or your partner. But remember, you need it. That means your family needs it too.
But think about what you can do on a regular basis to help you take care of yourself. Here are a few ideas.
1) Do one thing every day that makes you happy. Just a little bit of time for yourself can make you feel good. Figure out how you get that.
2) Know when you have had enough. It is okay to try to do everything anyone asks you to do, but we also need to know when enough is enough. Try to figure out the things in your life that aren’t necessary and eliminate them.
3) Do the things you try to get your kids to do. Remember the things you tell your kids about eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, keeping physically active and staying healthy. These all influence your stress level and your physical well-being and are important to you as well as your children.
4) Keep things in perspective. Not everything is important. Look at what really matters to you and focus on those things and let the others go.
5) Remember you are an example to your children. When your children see you taking care of yourself, you set a positive example for them. You are a role model for your children, so you want to take care of yourself. Good self-care brings happiness to the whole family.
Enjoy your life and even your time as a parent.
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Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.
