Parenting In Focus: Making a difference in what you do as a parent
Published 1:30 am Wednesday, July 7, 2021
Researchers have always been interested in how effective parents can be. Parents have been interested for themselves.
Recent research has shown some very interesting results. By examining the brains of children who have been physically, sexually, or emotionally mistreated, experts have learned that these kinds of abuse changes the child’s brain forever. It is not something a child will “get over.”
The child who is abused and neglected will probably do poorly in school, be suspended more frequently, have to repeat grades, and may drop out of school. What you do to your child, and even what you say, significantly impacts your child.
Parents take on a huge responsibility when they raise a child. You need to keep your child safe, encourage him, care for him, be with him, teach him and love him. The responsibility of raising a child may be the most serious one you ever undertake.
• Loving things to do to make a difference
• Be consistent
• Be there for him
• Tell him you love him
• Tell him what he does right
• Be fair
• Read to him and with him
• Give him hugs regularly
• Know where he is
• Stay away from illegal drugs
• Do what you say you will do
• Spend close time together
• Talk to him and listen to him
• Talk about him positively
• Keep him safe
You have a chance to make a huge difference in how your child turns out. Spend the time and the energy to make certain that your child feels loved and cared for.
None of what we have discussed here says that you will never be angry with your child. You will. But when you are angry you need to learn to control your anger because of the impact your anger can have on your behavior toward your child.
Put your anger aside until you can get it under control. Talk with others about what has caused your anger to be such a big deal. Hear other ideas on how to handle the situations that make you very angry with your child. Think the situation through before you act on it.
There are many ways to handle things when your child has done something wrong. One important way is to tell him how you are unhappy with the situation and you will talk with him later about it and walk away.
That is a far better way to handle things rather than to let your anger cause you to do or say things you would regret or that would do harm.
Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. For more information, email to info@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.
