I have the pleasure, often coupled with a mental workout because he is clever and wise, of having a phone conversation with my nephew nearly every Saturday afternoon. I enjoy our conversations because besides being a good person, he is an interesting person and tells good stories.
We have been having these conversations for several years now although situations of life occurring for either of us do not always allow for our Saturday call.
My nephew initiated the calls which surprised me because, after all, I was “Aunt Bertha.” But I caught on quickly to what he already knew. We, even though he is over 30 years younger than I, have much in common.
A large part of the commonality is we like to take a topic and dig into it whether it is about our political leanings, climate change denial, or our family. We understand that our family tends not to dig deep into topics unrelated to family and, even then, has defined parameters. We like to go well below the surface.
My nephew is a keen observer of people and situations. He and I are both blessed (or cursed, depending on one’s perspective) with curiosity (insightful or nosy) about people, their lives, and motivations.
We like to share interesting experiences although his stories always seem more interesting than mine.
Over the years, he has worked with children from elementary through high school. He takes an interest in each and learns what motivates or worries them.
He tells me about his experiences in his work with schoolchildren.
Recently, my nephew told me about an encounter with a high school student. He was monitoring a student gathering in which students were not allowed to have their cell phones out of pocket.
One girl started into the room holding her active phone. He knew her and called her over to remind her to put her phone away. Knowing my nephew, I am sure it was with what I call firm kindness.
He went on to explain to her that her phone was like “mental potato chips.”
“It is like you are self-medicating,” he said, at which point I am sure she was giving him strange looks.
He continued, “Your brain has to grow and needs to experience what is around you, no matter what it is.”
He imparted his final bit of wisdom: “Sitting around looking at your phone for messages is like feeding your brain ‘mental potato chips.’”
For all I know, this is a common phrase in youth and school circles, but it was new to me.
I liked it.
Junk food for your brain.
Why would we not indulge our brain appetite like we indulge our food appetites?
What are your mental potato chips?
The episode started me thinking about how many of our activities could be considered “mental potato chips.”
Watching TV.
Going for a run.
Calling a friend.
Of course, we do these things for many reasons. We want to watch our team play. We want to exercise outside. We want to catch up with a friend. Only when we do these activities to escape something, whether boredom or discomfort, is it “mental potato chips.”
I should know. I have been indulging in a lot of mental potato chips lately. I think my favorite flavor of chips might be watching a complicated but relatable drama on television. High on the list is eating something so good, it is forbidden in most diets.
Taking a nap works too.
I, and many of you, will check your phone more than necessary on a slow day.
I do not know who I think will be on the other end of the phone and my guess is the young girl does not either; although her options are more interesting than mine, less predictable too.
Nothing wrong with indulging in potato chips, real or symbolic, until indulging becomes an addiction and begins to interfere with other activities or relationships.
We see couples sitting at a table waiting for their food, each intently reading something on their phone. I do not see a problem if one is just checking for messages, but I think reading something not urgent is impolite, if not rude.
Studies discovered that people feel anxious if they inadvertently leave their phone at home. I do and must talk myself into understanding I lived for decades without having a cell phone constantly at my side.
When husband Paul was alive and I left home without my phone, I had reason to be anxious but now an urgent call is not likely.
Still, I feel the attachment to home, family and friends who might need me.
Like everything else, our relationship with our phones should be balanced.
Phones have a purpose in communication and relationships but cross a line if our phone becomes more important than the people present with us.
Nor is frequent or prolonged phone checking more important than hearing and learning what we need to know to grow into a responsible person who contributes to life as well as consuming it as if it is only a feast of potato chips.
“Your brain has to grow and needs to experience what is around you, no matter what it is.”
And no matter what age you are.
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Bertha Cooper, an award-winning featured columnist with the Sequim Gazette, spent her career years in health care and is the author of the award-winning “Women, We’re Only Old Once.” Cooper and her husband lived in Sequim for 26 years. Now widowed, Cooper continues to live in the area she has grown to love. Reach her at columnists@sequimgazette.com.