Teaching your child to be kind begins early, and it begins with you being kind to your child. It begins in the way you talk to and how you react to them. It even begins when you smile.

Teaching kindness is probably one of the easiest lessons you can teach. Without your effort, it can also be a lesson that is neglected and unlearned. Without you being actively involved, your child can miss the positive sides of this important life lesson.

Like most of life’s lessons, the ones parents teach are frequently the easiest to learn. Learning about kindness starts long before you try to begin to teach your child a lesson. It begins when you comfort your crying child, and when she sees you smile at others or when she hears you say “thank you” to the waitress or the clerk, or donate to your favorite cause.

Sometimes this sounds more like just being polite, but saying “please” and “thank you” also encourages kindness and makes the world a happier place.

Kindness is taught at dinner when you thank someone for passing the bread or the milk. It begins when your child sees you pick up another child who is crying or cranky and in need of attention. Kindness is taught when your child sees someone sharing their candy with another child. It is kindness when someone offers their chair to someone else.

All of these examples of kindness set the stage for a friendly, healthy and encouraging life.

We worry today about our changing world. People are protesting more and less tolerant of differences. People seem angrier. To change this response we need to teach more about kindness and tolerance to our young people. We need to show our young people about kindness and tolerance by demonstrating it ourselves.

We need to make sure that we don’t always put effort into catching our kids when they make mistakes but that we spend as much time catching our kids being kind. We need to compliment our children when they demonstrate their kindness. “What a kind thing to do! You shared your dessert with your friend when she didn’t get one for her lunch!” Or, “How thoughtful of you to say you appreciated the ride your friend’s father gave you.”

When your kids are kind, catch them at it—and reinforce their behavior.

Learning to be kind can make a great difference in the world. It won’t solve the world’s problems but it can make a difference.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.