By Linda Klinefelter

Dear Readers, I launched the column “Dementia Caregiving 101” to be a lifeline for caregivers supporting loved ones facing the challenges of dementia. This column is dedicated to providing not only information but also heartfelt support and valuable resources for those who may struggle to attend caregiver groups or access outside services. Together, we can navigate this journey with compassion and understanding.

I am looking at the calendar in amazement, finding it hard to believe that we are already in December.

This month is filled with holidays, and many of us are reflecting on how these celebrations will impact our loved ones who are diagnosed with dementia.

There are lots of things to consider as we think about how and what we must or must not do.

If your loved one has recently been diagnosed with dementia or is in the early to mid-stage of the disease, it’s essential to thoughtfully consider how family gatherings may affect them.

Reflect on whether they can comfortably attend a family event or participate in a large gathering.

A recent diagnosis can be overwhelming, often accompanied by emotions such as depression, anger, or unease around others.

Keeping this in mind is crucial as you plan family visits or events.

For those in the mid-stage of the disease, like my husband, an excess of activity can flood the brain with stimuli, potentially triggering negative behaviors or, more commonly, a profound desire to withdraw and rest.

To create a nurturing environment, it may be wise to simplify activities and encourage family members to visit in smaller, more intimate groups during the holidays.

This approach not only honors their needs but also fosters deeper connections with loved ones.

As caregivers, we must cherish the present moment.

Too often, we allow ourselves to linger in the past, drifting into sadness, a reminder that staying grounded in the here and now is vital. I had a profound realization of this last Christmas, the first time my husband didn’t shop for me. It wasn’t about the gift itself; it was the delightful way he used to wrap them that I truly missed.

My husband was never one for traditional wrapping. Gifts might find themselves nestled in a whimsical paper bag adorned with a bow, or carelessly secured with duct tape over Christmas paper, and sometimes even playfully wrapped in last week’s comic strips.

I adored his creative spirit; it brought lightness and laughter to our holiday traditions. Yet, reminiscing about those moments tugged at my heartstrings.

Then, something wonderful happened.

As I watched him unwrap a present, his face blossomed into a radiant smile, and in that instant, it struck me: I needed to embrace the now.

I chose to immerse myself in the joy of the moment, to revel in his laughter, and to hold those glimpses of happiness close to my heart. Life has a way of presenting us with new joys, if only we allow ourselves to fully experience them.

As the holiday season approaches, many of us find ourselves pondering the perfect gifts for our cherished loved ones. I highly encourage you to explore the Alzheimer’s Store (alstore.com). When selecting gifts for individuals living with dementia, it’s essential to prioritize comfort, engagement, and sensory stimulation.

And let’s not overlook the magic of music! Choose melodies that not only spark long-term memories but also inspire meaningful interactions. These thoughtful gestures can truly enhance their experience and bring joy into their lives.

As a caregiver, it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being. Carve out moments for yourself — whether that’s savoring a cup of coffee with a friend, enjoying lunch with a family member, or simply indulging in some peaceful downtime.

Don’t hesitate to invite a family member or friend to spend time with your loved one while you gift yourself the relaxation you deserve.

Remember, nurturing yourself is just as important as nurturing those you care for.

Embrace this time for self care; it will enrich both your life and the life of your loved one. And remember: stay in the moment.

“To love a person is to learn the song in their heart, and sing it to them when they have forgotten.” — Arne Garborg.